


Fifty-Fifty

by BinaryStars3



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A practice project that got way out of hand, Alternate Title: Rey's no good very bad day, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben's POV, Boss man Ben, Brief mention of other characters - Freeform, Everything goes wrong but it's nobodies fault, F/M, HEA, I don't know why I keep on putting Rey through hell I promise I love her, Luggage issues, Oh yeah they're going on a work trip, Rey gets hangry, Rey has the worst luck ever, There's only One Bed!, assistant Rey, ben is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29202819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinaryStars3/pseuds/BinaryStars3
Summary: Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And Rey is no exception to this rule of the universe, when Ben calls her out on a last minute business trip cross country to scout locations and investors for a new project.The only problem is, Ben isn't good at dealing with Rey when she's upset.And all of this bad luck is making herveryupset.✈-☆-✈“My alarm didn’t go off.” She starts, exhaling as she pulls the sandwich from her mouth and twirls it through the air with shut eyes. “And then my car didn’t start, so I had to uber. Which I will be filing as a business expense to your mother, thank-you-very-much, and then I got pulled aside at TSA for a random check.“Anyways, it’s been a long morning. I’m sorry. How are you?”
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 62
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a practice piece, believe it or not. I've had the idea rolling in my head for months, and I've just been putting it off to finish other projects that took priority.
> 
> and then I realized I was looking down the barrel of two more massive ideas, of which I wanted to try a different perspective style than usual, so...
> 
> here we are. Nine chapters, 22k something words, and it's all in Bens perspective! It was a really fun challenge to try and push myself in this style, with this particular character, and I hope I pulled it off well. It's definitely more challenging to make the points I want to make when I'm only working through one mindset, but I think I'm figuring it out slowly??
> 
> I think. I'm learning. :)

Ben is having a… 

A weird morning.

First off, he’s going on a business trip. Which is _bizarre_ in itself because he hasn’t done this in a _really_ long time. Getting stuck in a kind of liminal space for a day, waiting at terminals and having personal items sorted through in a TSA line. It’s a weird day. He knows this. There never has been and never will be a normal day involving any period of time inside of an airport terminal. 

What makes it even _weirder_ , however, is how he keeps on checking his phone for an update from one Miss Rey Niima. Ben’s executive assistant of exactly ten months, next Tuesday. The woman is never late to anything. Ben swears she has an internal clock that runs on coffee and sandwiches. It’s bizarre, but it makes her perfect for him.

It also drives him nuts, but that’s a story for another day.

Which makes it weird, when the nice lady in the blue cardigan at the desk in front of their flight announces they have ten minutes till boarding, and Ben still has _no clue_ where his assistant is despite her internal clock.

And it’s not for a lack of trying, on his part. He’s drafted about twenty texts, and sent about five, and it doesn’t help that his massive, earth shattering, _stupid_ crush on her renders him useless in nearly every non-work related interaction they have.

Ben thought he would have been able to text her, “Hey! Where are you?” like a normal human being by now. 

He hasn’t. At least not as gracefully as he would like. 

Because he’s pretty sure the woman just thinks he’s a big, useless baby half of the time they interact.

He sighs, pacing down the aisles between seats and staring at the blank screen of his phone as the last of the chairs in the waiting area fill up. He moves his laptop bag, from where he had been saving a seat for Rey while he got up to move and shake the pre-flight jitters out, as he sits down with a quiet huff.

His seat has been stolen by an older man anyways, and he doesn’t want to look like an asshole who needs two chairs when people are already starting to bleed out into the corridor of the airport.

_Where the hell is she?_

Just then, his phone buzzes. Perfect timing.

**THREE MINUTES**

Ben stares down at his phone, blinking as she types and he furrows his brow. What the fuck does she mean by _three minutes?_

**I AM RUNNING**

**DO NOT LET THEM**

**LEAVE WITHOUT ME**

Ben perks his head up, furrowing his brow further as he grumbles. _Why is she late?_

He waits, though, keeping an eye on any suspicious movements or small brown haired girls with freckles that he might have missed already. Just in case she runs _past_ the gate, which he knows is entirely possible because he’s absolutely done that before, as he sighs.

He spots her three minutes later, hair thrown up in a haphazard bun and _sprinting_ towards the gate with a carry-on bag in one hand, a latte in the other, and a breakfast sandwich hanging out of her mouth.

He groans, because _this woman-_

“You’re _late._ ” He calls as he stands up again, and she comes rushing towards him. He hardly knows it’s the most elegant thing to say to her right now. He _knows_ he’s pointing out the obvious, hearing how the concern comes off more as annoyance as the words slip out of his mouth and he cringes at his own brute-ness in front of her.

He knows it’s a dick move, as soon as the words leave his non-functioning monkey brain and she glares at him like she could slaughter him alive right now.

Ben gulps, because Rey Niima _terrifies_ him when she’s angry.

“I _know!_ ” She huffs back as he winces, groaning as she slows in front of him and he opens and closes his mouth at her disheveled appearance. As he crosses his arms for a moment, to stop from reaching out and helping her with her bags like he probably should. Like he really _wants_ to, as he gets a good look at her in what he can only describe as _casual_ _wear._

As he realizes that _Rey has no right looking this cute in a sweater that big_.

And he also realizes that he’s _completely_ screwed for the next three days if she’s just going to show up in his life with things like _leggings_ and _sneakers_ . Things that he’s never seen her wear outside of the office before, because they’ve never _been_ outside of the office together before.

She gently sets her drawstring bag on the ground with a groan, panting around the breakfast sandwich that’s still in her mouth as she whines and stretches her neck out. The bag has what looks to be a rainbow tie-dye pattern on it, although Ben doesn’t know if that’s just his brain playing tricks on him right now or not as the absurdity of this whole situation sinks in.

The whole interaction actually does things to Ben he would rather not admit, as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. As he grumbles, and sits back down before his whole body rejects his more logical brain.

“My alarm didn’t go off.” She starts, exhaling as she pulls the sandwich from her mouth and twirls it through the air with shut eyes. “And then my car didn’t start, so I had to uber. Which I _will_ be filing as a business expense to your mother, thank-you-very-much, and then I got pulled aside at TSA for a random check.”

She opens her eyes, handing him her coffee as she looks around and realizes that there’s no more seats. As Ben fails to realize he should probably just give her _his_ seat-

She whines as she sits down on the floor beside him, reaching up and grabbing her latte from his palms again.

She takes a long sip, tilting her head back as Ben stares at her.

“Anyways, it’s been a long morning. I’m sorry. How are you?”

Ben blinks as he processes her very fast and very dense morning, as she exhaustedly leans her head against the side of his chair.

She’s got big dark circles under her eyes, and Ben wonders if she didn’t sleep well either.

He opens his mouth once to speak, before deciding he has absolutely _nothing_ of worth to contribute to making her feel better right now. 

“You could have gotten me a coffee.” He hums instead, nudging his foot against her leg. She groans, mouth half full of egg and english muffin as she turns to him and glares again.

But he swears she smiles at him a little, as he clears his throat and goes back to impatiently waiting for boarding to start. 

He doesn’t get to do it often, but he likes to make Rey smile.

It makes him feel good when she’s happy.

✈-☆-✈

Ben watches as Rey deftly deals with getting their tickets and seats sorted as they get on the plane, Ben trying to follow close behind as she looks over her shoulder to make sure he’s right behind her. Checking up on him, in the way only she does.

“I made sure to get us the bulkhead, by the way.” She sighs, as Ben exhales in relief. Thank god, she remembered his request for today. The _one_ thing he wanted, so his knees aren’t dying by the time they finally land at these meetings they’ve been sent off to.

She giggles, turning back up to him once more as the boarding line stops and the two get stuck in place as someone up ahead struggles with a black carry-on and a jacket. As Ben has to bend down just to fit in the aircraft, and Rey affectionately pats his arm. “I know, you’re tall. You’ve got legs for days.”

Ben grumbles again, nodding as she giggles. He _does_ have legs for days. This is no secret.

She checks their tickets again, furrowing her brow as Ben looks ahead. The plane is already _late,_ and he’d like to land before nightfall if possible. He would appreciate it if the people could hurry up, just a little.

“I’m taking the window seat, though. Just so we’re clear. I’m taking the window.”

Ben nods, as Rey flashes him a closed lip smile and he accepts her request to take the window seat.

He exhales, hoping this goes somewhat smoothly. 

He would really like this to go somewhat smoothly.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben realizes that Rey has _really_ bad plane anxiety about five minutes into the flight. Like, someone should have probably sedated her with a horse tranquilizer beforehand plane anxiety.

It’s instant, the moment she sits down and yanks her seatbelt tight against her lap, that it sets in. She pops her headphones in next to him, takes a deep breath, and lets her leg start jiggling as she stares out the window with steely eyed determination. Like she’s _determined_ to overcome the obvious fear that radiates off of her in dark waves as Ben keeps a watchful eye on her.

And as much as he tries to focus on the _fascinating_ auto-biography his mother gave him for Christmas last year, her nervous little movements and mannerisms are the most distracting thing Ben has ever had to endure.

And that’s before the plane even starts _moving_.

As soon as the engines turn on, and the plane comes to life, Rey _squeaks_ from her place next to him. Crossing her arms, trying to pull a leg up on the seat as she rubs her face against her leggings and takes a deep breath. As she starts to freak out, and Ben turns to look at her in surprise.

Ben's movements are automatic, after that, setting a hand on her leg and squeezing as she groans. Keeping a tight grip on her knee, as she holds her arms around her body and makes an _extraordinarily_ unhappy noise as the engines roar a little louder.

He stares, as she goes all pink in the face and he just quietly strokes her knee in reassuring movements. As his brain blanks out, because he’s _never_ seen this side of Rey before.

He, quite honestly, didn’t think she was _capable_ of freaking out like this.

“Rey?” He hums, using his other hand to tug on her earbud cord a little. “Rey.”

She squeaks as she turns to him, and the earbud pops out of her ear. 

“You okay?”

She nods, flashing him an all too uneasy smile. “Never better! Ready to fly! Totally cool!”

Ben can tell, as her eyes remain wide and panicked and her voice pitches up about three notches, that she is decidedly _not_ totally cool.

He quickly tries to come up with a solution, because the last thing he wants to do right now is make her feel like she’s being poked fun at or something.

“Can you hold my hand? Takeoff always makes me uneasy.” He lies, holding out his palm as she peers at him in confusion and with wide, nervous eyes. As he shrugs, like this is the obvious solution to both of their problems. Even if his is, quite frankly, non-existent.

She nods, that same steely eyed determination in her face, as she grabs his palm and laces her fingers between his own. As Ben's hand goes all fuzzy at the sensation of her warm palm in his, and the feeling climbs up his arm as she wraps her spare hand around his bicep to ground herself with.

He squeezes once in reassurance, as the plane starts moving and she stares out the window. She goes weirdly silent as the intercom for the pilot buzzes to life around them, for someone that he knows can talk his ear off when she so desires.

Ben briefly wonders if she’s ever flown before, before remembering her work visa.

_Of course she has, idiot_.

How did she do it alone?

✈-☆-✈

Ben falls asleep, midway through the flight. But only after Rey does, anxiety getting the best of her and kind of causing her to shut down about an hour after they get into the air.

She fell asleep on his shoulder, still grabbing his hand, and while Ben certainly isn’t complaining, it was a little odd to be leaning down for her like that. He got a crick in his neck after about half an hour, made everything sore until he gave in and let her tug him sideways.

So he set his cheek on top of her head when he realized his arm was stuck in an odd position, and fell asleep too. 

But he wakes up, at some point in time later, as chatter picks up around him.

“He’ll have a water, if that’s alright.”

“No, problem, ma’am!”

He huffs, as Rey pats his arm again. He rubs his face against what he vaguely realizes is her hair, as she keeps a tight grip on his palm.

He listens to her sigh beneath him, as someone pours what he now assumes is a glass of water to his left and Rey reaches out to grab it.

He grumbles again, really wishing she would _stop_ moving.

“Shush.” She hums, squeezing his hand once more as she groans. “You’re _fine_. Chill.”

“Don’t tell me to chill.” He sleepily pouts, as she giggles beneath him and he cracks an eye open to look down at her. It looks like she got a ginger ale for herself and a water from him, when the drinks cart came along just now.

She holds the water out for him, as he sleepily takes the offered beverage between two hands and slowly sips. She giggles at him, as he tiredly blinks and then yawns in her presence.

“You have sharp teeth.” She hums, reaching out and grabbing his chin for a moment as he smacks his lips and slowly blinks a little. Confused, but not totally opposed to her hands on his face. “Why the hell do you have such sharp teeth?”

He shrugs, pulling his lips back and making a face as she giggles. “I’m a vampire. That’s why.”

He sticks his tongue out, after gnashing his teeth a little for her.

She makes a noise of understanding, as he sighs and settles down again.

“So _that's_ why you work all day. Can’t go outside until the sun sets.”

“No, that’s because I’m a control freak.” He corrects, taking another sip. “And we’re preparing for a massive expansion into a new city. The reason we’re traveling, right?”

Rey nods, furrowing her brow. He knows she doesn’t like how much he works sometimes, but he feels like he has to. He’s slowly being handed the torch of _Resistance Press_ , his mom and uncles company, and part of that is his wild expansion plan.

Northwest Newspaper no more, they’re going _country wide_ . Thus, a trip into New York to scout investors and office spaces. And then Canada, and Mexico, and England, and _Japan_ -

International. They’re going to be a reputable, responsible, _international_ news company. It started with a total website refurbishment, and it’ll end with a powerhouse of a news organization that’ll hopefully make the world a better and more informed place.

Rey giggles again, as he yawns and groans one final time. He tries to stretch and pop his back a little, still _deeply_ uncomfortable in these smushed airplane seats.

And this is _not_ because Ben misses New York more than anything else, and just because he left his high paying CFO wall street job just over a year ago means that he can’t look into moving back now.

Especially if they have two headquarters. A west coast office, and an east coast office. 

_Especially especially_ if he knows Rey will move with him, and he can convince her to love this city as much as he does.

“Ben?” She sighs, turning up to him as he hums again. 

“Thank you for holding my hand. It meant a lot.”

He nods, reaching down and grabbing her palm again as she leans against his arm and stares out the window. As they pass above silky white clouds, and Ben tries to avoid the sun getting in his eyes at all costs. Maybe he really is a vampire, has some hidden gene in his DNA that makes him so averse to sunlight.

It would explain the constant summer sunburns, at least.

“When I got my braces off in high school, they shaved down my canines. I used to _really_ have some vampire fangs, you know.”

She turns up to him, wrinkling her nose up as he quietly smiles. As he still kind of comes back to himself, and sets his half finished drink down on her tray.

“Damn shame, Solo.” She sighs after a moment. After he’s shown her his teeth again, clacking them a little as she smiles. He wasn’t very good about wearing his retainer afterwards, so they’ve gone all wonky again, but he finds he doesn’t mind nearly as much as he used to. The insecurity has faded, with time.

“I hope you know, that’s a damn shame.”

He nods, agreeing with her. He liked his sharp teeth. He thought they were cool.

Too bad his orthodontist didn’t agree.

✈-☆-✈

Rey falls asleep _again_ , after Ben belatedly realizes that they’re not going to get lunch on this flight after all. Which isn’t a problem for him, normally, except he knows Rey.

He knows she needs to eat three times a day, otherwise she gets very cranky and upset. And Ben doesn’t particularly want to deal with a cranky and upset Rey, because when she gets upset he gets upset.

And then it turns into this whole energetic loop, where they get upset at _each other_.

So when the snack cart comes by, he picks up as much as he is allowed to for the two of them and shoves it in his bag for when she wakes up. Four items total, of absolute junk food.

Rey will love it.

He turns to look at her, as she clings onto his arm and he crosses his legs with a sigh after shutting the book that he’s made about zero progress in. She’s very grabby when she’s sleepy, apparently, using him for support as he takes advantage of the extra leg room she got them. His hand kind of ends up near her thigh, though, as she leans her entire weight on his side with a huff.

He looks up, as she shivers a little and a flight attendant comes by. “Hey, ‘scuse me-“ he hums, as she stills in surprise. As Ben surprises _himself_ with his forwardness. “Do you have a blanket or something? I-it would be appreciated. A lot.”

She nods, looking over the two of them before wandering off to go and check. Ben doubts there actually will be one, but he takes a moment to readjust himself as Rey settles in. Trying to make her more comfortable, or at least as comfortable as he _can_.

He shushes her when she whines, and the flight attendant comes back with a smile and a blue blanket wrapped in plastic. She hands it off, as Ben expresses his thanks and gratitude for managing to hunt one down. 

It won’t do much, but hopefully it makes her day a _little_ bit better.

“Also, can I just say, you two are _adorable_.” She hums, before turning to head down the aisle again. “You make a lovely couple.”

Ben just nervously laughs, as she flits off to go and fulfill her airplane… duties… and his heart drops in his chest.

He turns to look down at Rey with a gulp, as he silently opens the package with _incredibly_ nervous fingers. Fingers that suddenly feel too unfamiliar, in her own.

He shakes the blanket out, before trying to figure out how to drape the _tea towel_ over her body with one hand.

Oh, boy, he’s glad she’s asleep right now.

Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT TO FORMAT THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS CORRECTLY AGAIN gdi- am a mess je s us

Ben scrolls on his phone as he waits in the corner of baggage claim, trying to catch up on emails as Rey impatiently paces over by the carousel. His bag was one of the first down, so he grabbed it and let Rey know he was going to get out of the way. He’s keeping an eye on her, just in case she needs help, but he has things to catch up on and she knows what her bag looks like.

He looks up at her again, as she huffs and sets her hands on her hips. The baggage claim area is starting to clear out, and it’s been around twenty minutes since bags started unloading. He wonders what's going on.

He stands up, grabbing the handle of his suitcase and wandering back over to her. They stare at the carousel as it rotates around, two bags left on it that don’t  _ look _ like they would belong to her. They’re too big, first off, and way too  _ shiny. _ And  _ new. _

“So.” He hums, exhaling as the main conveyor from the upper levels to the carousel screeches to a halt in front of them. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“Are you telling me that, or is that a new mantra you’re trying out.” She groans, turning to look up at him as he shrugs down at her with a sigh.

They stare at each other, Rey looking completely exhausted as Ben sets a hand on her shoulder and gently sways her a little, in what he hopes is a reassuring manner. “Both? Maybe?” 

She nods, before kind of grabbing his arm and squeezing again. “Do you think they’ll find it? Maybe if we wait here for a few more minutes, they’ll start the trolley again?”

Ben shrugs, because he doubts it. Once the carousel shuts off, it’s  _ off _ .

The last of the stragglers, following after Ben and working on their phones to pass the time until everyone's bags come down, grab their suitcases and leave.

Then it’s just Rey and Ben. The former with her carry-on bag slung over her shoulder and the latter with the sudden realization that Rey's bag was  _ not _ on that flight.

“Tell me when you’re ready to file a report at the front desk, and then we’ll go. Okay?”

She nods, taking a deep breath as Ben peels his hand off of her and he sighs. This is… a shit day for her. Clearly. If nearly missing the flight wasn’t enough, then freaking out for a solid five hours  _ of _ said flight,  _ then _ losing her luggage? Well, it’s clearly pushing her over the edge.

He’ll give her as much time as she needs to process. He knows this about Rey. 

Sometimes she needs a second to pull herself together before dealing with something.

He’s the same way.

✈-☆-✈

Ben deals with the front desk for her, when Rey just kind of quietly starts to draw into herself next to him. “Look, are you  _ sure _ it didn’t make it on the flight? Can somebody double check?”

“Sir, it’s still somewhere in Coruscant. I’ve called the airline, and it looks like the bag didn’t make it into the system on time before the luggage gates closed. We can have it sent here tonight, on the next flight out, but it won’t be here until…”

He clicks along his keyboard, as Ben feels Rey sigh and rest her head against his arm. He resists the urge to grab her hand, trying to act  _ normal _ about this whole thing. It’s bad enough someone mistook them for a couple when she was  _ asleep _ , but he wouldn't survive that same mishap happening while she was awake if he’s perfectly honest.

“Tomorrow morning, we can send it to your hotel and you can have it by one PM. How does that sound?”

He smiles, as Ben groans and rubs his forehead between his forefinger and his thumb. He knows he’s trying his best, he’s  _ just _ a customer service representative, Ben can’t  _ do _ anything else right now-

“No!” Rey squeaks next to him, slamming her hands on the counter as she huffs and puffs at this whole situation. “We have multiple pivotal meetings tomorrow! All of my clothes are in that suitcase! I won’t have anything to  _ wear!”  _

Ben stares at her as she panics and buries her head in her arms with a groan. As she leans over the countertop, baby-hairs curling around her ears. Oh, yeah, he forgot about that. Rey needs her work clothes for their negotiations and investor meetings tomorrow. He has his suits, she has her skirts, slacks, and blouses. 

Of which are all in Coruscant still, apparently.

“My life is  _ over _ .”

He pats her back, gently tapping her shoulders as he looks back towards the representative behind the desk. “Can you get it here  _ any _ sooner? We really need that suitcase.”

He shakes his head, as Ben grumbles. Fine, okay, he’ll fill out the form and they’ll- they’ll figure  _ something _ out for her. Ben knows a couple places they can stop, maybe he can call a friend and Rey can borrow something nice.

She groans again, as Ben takes the appropriate form from the receptionist and starts filling out Rey's information, at least as much as he knows, with the borrowed pen. He has to pass it to her once they get to her luggage tag, description, and address part of it-

But she grumpily fills it out, Ben keeping a hand on her shoulder as she works. Making sure she doesn’t  _ stab _ somebody with the pen, as she intensely writes down her address and explains that they need to call her as  _ soon _ as the bag gets off of that plane. That this is an  _ emergency _ .

Ben hears her mutter something after the representative takes the form from her and starts entering it into the system, Ben tugging on her elbow to get them moving away from this situation a little. Because Rey looks like she’s about to murder somebody, and Ben would rather it be him than an innocent bystander.

He thinks she mutters ‘fucking tosser’, but he has no clue.

“Rey,” he hums, leaning down to her and setting an arm around her shoulders to keep her close as they wander towards the exit of the airport and he drags his suitcase behind them. “ _ Please _ don’t curse out customer service reps. He’s trying his best.”

She groans, although she turns to look up at him with soft eyes as he drops his arm. “I know, Ben. I know. It’s just-“

“It’s been a day?”

She slowly nods, as Ben stands up a little taller. He continues to pull his suitcase behind him, as his laptop bag swings against his hip and they head out the sliding doors to the taxi and rideshare area. 

“You have your laptop, right? All the information for investors tomorrow? Your phone, wallet-“

“And my jacket, a book, and some gum. That’s it. No makeup, no nice clothes, no  _ toothbrush _ -“

“We’ll stop at a drugstore.” He sighs, shrugging this off as best he can. Shrugging off the cold, too, as the full force of the evening wind hits them both. They’ll work this out. “We’ll make it work until tomorrow morning. Maybe we can push back those meetings till later in the week, just keep everything until  _ after _ one. Can you make those calls when we get to the hotel?”

She glares at him, although he sees how her shoulders relax a little after that. It will be nice to have the morning off, they’ve been traveling all day and the sun is just starting to set across the city. It will be  _ really _ nice to take the morning off after today.

“Yes, I can make those calls.  _ I _ will handle it, Ben.”

She kind of pushes him off after that, although Ben doesn’t really get why until after she’s pulled out her phone from her bag to hail an uber. 

Ah, he probably shouldn’t have given her more work right now.

That probably wasn’t a good idea.

He opens his mouth to volunteer to do it, to say he’ll take care of it and that he’s sorry for pushing more work on her right now, but nothing comes out.

Nothing  _ good _ , anyways. Because apparently he’s just an illiterate caveman around this woman every time he opens his dumb mouth.

“I-I mean, I can do it if you want. I just thought, it would be a good idea if-“

“It comes from the assistant and not the boss, I know. I know, Ben. It’s all about optics.”

Ben shuts up, to prevent himself from digging himself deeper into this hole they’ve gotten themselves buried in.

He misses when Rey was asleep on his shoulder, clinging into his hand like that was enough.

God, he keeps on fucking this up.

The uber arrives after a couple tense and silent minutes between the two of them, Rey pointing to it as Ben follows close behind. He tries to open the door for her, moving to get her in like a gentleman should, but someone honks behind him and scares him as Rey sticks her head in the door and asks the driver to pop the trunk. He doesn’t even get a  _ chance _ to catch up, as she makes sure it’s the right car and everything.

Ben just tries to keep up with her, getting his suitcase in the back without getting run over before slipping in behind Rey with more than a couple curses silently thrown at himself. 

He doesn’t know why he always does this around her, but he would  _ really _ like to stop being an asshole right now. If that could happen, that would be  _ great _ .

He tries to think of what to say to comfort her, as the uber jerks to life and she buries her nose in her phone. Biting her thumbnail as she types and thinks, trying to come up with an excuse as to why Ben can’t meet with their investors tomorrow morning.

She hopes she tells them he’s sick, or something. Tells them it’s his fault, that everything is.

Because, holy shit, he  _ really _ feels like it right now. Rey wouldn’t be in this awful situation if they hadn’t gone on this trip today.  _ None _ of this would have happened if he hadn’t had this hare-brained idea.

He stares at her, as she sighs and continues typing. This is… entirely his fault.

This is not the way he was planning to introduce her to New York.

She pops her head up, as he turns away from her and furrows his brow.

“What? Why are you giving me that  _ look _ .” She snaps, Ben shrugging as he widens his eyes and sputters to himself. He doesn’t know! He was just looking! She looks upset! And he doesn’t  _ like _ it when she’s upset, apparently, because it makes him feel weird!

She huffs, before flipping back to her phone with an even  _ angrier _ look. She continues to bite her thumbnail, as Ben sighs. He doesn’t know why he acts like this around her. He has no clue. He just- he does.

“Stop that.” He hums, grabbing her hand as she continues to  _ gnaw _ . As they drive out of the airport, and the sun flashes brightly behind her and casts the whole landscape in a golden glow. “Stop biting your fingernails,  _ please _ . We’re gonna be fine.”

She glares at him, as he gently rubs his thumb over her knuckles. He will make sure everything is fine. He has to. That’s his responsibility, as both her friend and her boss. 

Right? Make sure she’s okay?

Isn’t that somewhere in his job description?

She sighs, limply grabbing his hand with hers as she stares at him. “I swear to god, if the rest of the week is like this I’m quitting. This is a bad omen, Ben.”

“Give it a day.” He exhales, squeezing her hand as she sighs and the light cascades through the window into the interior of the black car. “Please. Just- give it a day.”

She nods, although Ben doesn’t miss the way her eyes narrow at him before turning back to her phone. 

“And let me write the emails, I shouldn’t have asked you to do that. It was selfish of me to tell you to do that, Rey, you’ve had a bad day.”

Her other thumb types out a couple more letters, before going to the top of her screen and tapping again. “Sorry, already sent. I told them there was an issue with our flight, and we won’t be getting in until eight AM. If anybody asks, we spent all night at the airport.”

Ben nods, as Rey turns her phone off and sets it in her lap.

He squeezes her hand again, not really willing to let go until she does.

He really feels like this is his fault.

He feels  _ awful _ about this.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben watches as Rey takes a couple deep breaths, before heading into the hotel with him after they get out of the uber and he gets his stuff together. She managed to find them a run of the mill, chain hotel off of a busy street.

Perfect. No surprises here. A warm bed, a continental breakfast, and space for Ben to think about how much chocolate he’s going to have to buy to keep Rey on his team.

At this point it is… looking like a  _ lot _ .

“You got everything?” He asks, adjusting his bag over his shoulder. He’s still got the snacks in it, which he keeps on forgetting about, but he decides to give to her sooner rather than later. “I don’t want any lost phones, wallets, keys-“

Rey checks her bag, exhaling in relief as they walk into the hotel and Ben places a hand on her lower back to stop her from walking into anything. Trying to stop another untimely disaster from happening.

“Check, check, check. All check. We’re good.”

Ben nods, walking with her to the front desk. She sorts through her stuff as she waits in line, Ben standing next to her and watching as she juggles her  _ stuff. _

“Here, extra hands.” He hums, holding out his palms as she dumps her phone and sunglasses into his outstretched fingers.

She whispers a thank you, as she pulls out her wallet and the company credit card she keeps. The one Bens mother specifically gave to  _ her _ before they left, not him.

She steps up to the desk, as they get called up and Ben quickly tries to figure out how to juggle Rey's stuff in his palms without forgetting his suitcase along the way. He does not have  _ nearly _ enough dexterity to deal with all of this, really, and he knows there’s a small line behind him.

He stares for a moment in panic, as she talks to the receptionist and he does the mental tetris to figure this all out. How to safely transport her most important items.

Rey's stuff just ends up going in his laptop bag, with the snacks, before he grabs his luggage and slowly rolls it over to her with a sigh.

He catches the end of their conversation, Ben shuffling up next to her and awkwardly trying to settle in next to Rey as she makes room for him at the counter.

“No, there was definitely a reservation for two rooms under Rey Niima. Or maybe Ben Solo? Can you try Benjamin Solo?”

She turns to him, Ben realizing she’s got that uneasy sort of look on her face again as he sighs. “So, minor issue. I need your wallet, by the way. ID.”

Ben nods, pulling out his wallet and handing it to her as she sighs.

“So, I asked Kaydel to make the reservations.”

“My mom's new assistant?”

“Yes.” Rey hums, pulling out his drivers license and slapping it on the counter next to hers. “I was busy trying to get ready for this week, Kaydel had just finished her training, and I thought ‘oh! Perfect! Leia doesn’t need her right now because she’s out with Luke for the afternoon, so I’ll have Kaydel make us the reservations at the hotel I already picked out! All she has to do is fill in the info!’ Easy, right?”

“Uh-huh” Ben hums, feeling a very real ‘ _ but _ ’ coming his way.

“ _ But _ -“ she hums, Ben sighing. There it is. “I must not have been clear enough. Because-“

“Nope, no reservation under Solo. Only one room with a queen under Niima.”

Rey groans, leaning over the counter as Ben balks.  _ What? _

“Are you  _ sure-“  _ Rey hums, crossing her arms on the black granite as Ben just stands in shock, or maybe dread. “Do you have any other rooms-“

The receptionist shakes her head, as Ben blinks. “I’m  _ so _ sorry, we only have the one. We’re all full up because of the conference down the street. We might have empty rooms tomorrow, and I’ll let you know as soon as we do, but it’s just the one for tonight. Sorry.”

Ben nods, looking around and realizing the hotel does look pretty  _ full _ . Lots of people here, tonight.

Rey groans again, looking up towards Ben as she gives the receptionist permission to check them into the  _ one _ bedroom they have, apparently. As Ben all but  _ spirals _ , and he processes this sudden influx of information that is currently being shoved at him. “I am  _ so _ sorry, Ben. I just- I-I should have done it myself-  _ christ _ \- And I should have double checked with Kaydel, but we were so busy-“

He quickly realizes Rey looks about three inches away from crying, as he places two uncertain palms on her shoulders to try and steady her. “Hey, hey. It’s cool. Rey, it’s cool. This isn’t your fault, we’ll figure it out. I promise. We’re cool.”

She nods, taking a deep breath as he does the same. As he guides her through it, the same way she does when Ben has a hard day.

It’s  _ weird _ to see her like this. In leggings, and sweaters, and nike sneakers. With her hair in a sloppy ponytail, fixed on the plane but without a hairbrush or any sort of aid besides Ben being her very unhelpful magic mirror. Without a shell of  _ poise _ around her, like he’s become so used to seeing since they first met.

He thought Rey was  _ unbreakable _ . 

Today might be proving him wrong.

He takes their wallets and IDs from the reception desk once the woman behind the counter slides a little paper packet with the room number and floor number written across the back. “If you two need anything, feel free to call us. Wifi password is inside, and breakfast starts at six. Anything else?”

Rey shakes her head, grabbing the keycards and slipping them into her palm as she exhales. “No, thank you.”

She turns to Ben, face tired and so  _ done _ with today.

He slides their IDs back in their wallets, double checking they both have the right ones, before handing her wallet back to her.

“You good?” He hums, as she slowly nods and starts leading them over to where the elevators are. She snaps her wallet shut, before tucking it back in her bag with a fairly  _ violent _ toss.

“ _ Peachy keen _ .” She hums over her shoulder, spitting it out between her teeth as he grimaces. She’s  _ pissed _ . Ben  _ knows _ she’s pissed. He tries to keep up with her as he drags his suitcase to the elevator, to try and avoid being the victim of her  _ pissiness _ .

She pushes the button to go up with a little more force than necessary as he sighs. 

And then again, when it gets stuck about seven stories up and she gets impatient.

And again, after that, when it slowly starts to tick down to their floor again.

Ben, eventually, grabs her hands in his when someone from the lobby starts looking at the very angry girl who is growling at the elevators and her tired but less angry friend is just trying to keep it together for her.

He opens his mouth to say something, before deciding not to say  _ anything _ . Because he does  _ not _ want to provoke her right now.

Which seems to be the wise choice, as she yanks her wrists from his hands and crosses her arms over her chest with a huff.

They stand there in silence, until the elevator comes down and Ben motions for her to get in. As he watches her sulk in the corner, and he keeps a safe distance away from her.

“Watch, we’re gonna get stuck in the elevator next.” She hums, Ben exhaling as she sighs.

“ _ Don’t _ even joke about that, Rey.” He warns, voice coming out squeakier than he expects. That’s one of like… his top ten fears. Getting stuck in an elevator, or an elevator falling. He does  _ not _ want to think about that right now with the tremendous amount of bad luck she’s having today.

She feels like a bad luck  _ magnet _ , and Ben is trying to stay out of her pull as much as possible.

He can’t say his efforts are very effective, to be honest.

Although, when have they ever been.

She silently kicks at the floor of the elevator, as Ben listens to the elevator music cheerily ring around them through the metallic echo of the speakers. Mocking them, as he sighs and tries to give Rey a modicum of privacy right now.

They don’t say a single thing to each other, as the doors open on their floor and Rey silently leads them down the long hallway to their  _ room _ .  _ Singular _ . The  _ singular _ room they’re sharing. Because those are the cards they’ve been dealt, on this particular day.

“How many HR rules do you think we’re breaking right now?” She teases, a false cheeriness in her voice as Ben groans. God, HR. He forgot about  _ HR _ .

“ _ So _ many. Rose is going to eat us  _ alive _ if she ever finds out about this.”

Rey nods, as she pulls one of the baby blue plastic keycards from the sleeve into her palm. As she adjusts her bag over her shoulder, and Ben looks down the warm orange hallways of this hotel. They are going to be in  _ so _ much trouble, if anybody ever finds out they’re doing this right now.

But it binds them together, in some way, because they’re  _ both _ going to be in trouble if anybody finds out about this.

They’re not doing it alone.

“Can we… agree not to mention this? Any of this? To anybody?” Rey hums, voice pitching up at the end as Ben nods and he sighs in relief. Yeah, he would like to  _ avoid _ a conversation with Rose about sharing a bedroom with Rey for one night. This is… a weird situation, and a weird sort of day. The less people know about it, the better.

The door clicks open, the lock buzzing green as Rey presses down on the handle and it swings inwards. “Rey, I would be  _ happy _ not to tell anybody about the numerous HR violations we’re making today.”

She nods, dryly chuckling a little as he grabs the door behind her and he brings his stuff in. As she wanders into the small bedroom, and face-plants on the bed with a groan.

“This has been… the  _ worst _ day of my life.” She hums, back rising and falling with a deep breath as Ben awkwardly scoots his suitcase to the corner of the room. It sure looks like it, all things considered. She still appears to be about one more piece of bad news from completely breaking down. She looks  _ exhausted. _

And Ben wants to avoid that breakdown at all costs, because he is  _ not _ good with pretty young women in general. Especially ones who are crying.

Especially when it’s  _ Rey _ who’s crying.

He really doesn’t want that to happen.

He stands there, crossing and uncrossing his arms, as she grumbles again on her stomach. He waits for something to happen. For somebody to make a move.

“I’m sleeping on the floor, by the way.” He sighs, quietly walking over to her and kind of awkwardly nudging her feet with his hands as she grumbles and moves so he can sit on the bed, next to her. “I’ll sleep on the floor, because you’re having a tough day.”

She whines, as he tries to figure out how to comfort her like this. Because he’s such a physical person, but again, he  _ can’t _ treat Rey the way he instinctively wants to. He can't rub her back, or hug her tight, or crawl into bed after her.

_ He just can’t. He can’t make her uncomfortable with him. There are rules about this, and they exist for a very good reason. _

He stands, as he tries to figure out what he  _ can _ do.

“You should take a shower and get clean. Get the plane germs off of you.” He hums, setting his hands on his hips as Rey grumbles and turns her head to look up at him. “You know, it’ll make you feel better.”

She stares at him a little more, before huffing and nodding in agreement. It’ll give her some privacy too, he knows, which he thinks might be much needed right now.

She sits up, as Ben moves to his suitcase and bag. “I’ll start looking for restaurants around here or something, see if I can find us a place to go and eat. How does that sound?”

“I thought I was supposed to be taking care of  _ you.  _ That’s  _ my _ job. _ ” _ she whines, staring at him as she rolls her shoulders to stretch. As she sighs, and Ben watches her struggle to turn off this part of her brain.

He scoffs, grabbing his phone out of his back pocket as he turns back to her. “And you’re officially off the clock for today. Go take a deep breath, I can manage by myself for five minutes.”

She opens her mouth to protest, as he points from her to the bathroom. Because he’s a grown-ass man, and he can manage for a couple minutes by himself right now. Especially because he knows Rey  _ won’t _ . She needs, like, fifteen minutes to process all of this by herself. They  _ both _ do. “Go, now. A watched pot doesn’t boil, or whatever.”

She stares at him for a moment, as he shifts on his feet and pulls up google.

“You should use the company credit card.” She hums, turning to look up at him as she stands. “And if we go  _ out _ right now, I’m gonna lose my mind. I’m warning you, I’m not going to be able to act normal in a restaurant right now. I’m  _ starving _ and I’m  _ exhausted _ and I’m  _ pissed off _ . Either we need to go pick something up, or I’m gonna go raid the convenience store downstairs. Okay?“

She grumbles as she treks towards the bathroom, because it looks like that’s as far as she’s capable of planning ahead right now. It looks like her plan ends with “taking a shower”.

“I’ll lend you some clothes,” Ben hums before he can think otherwise, placing his phone on the dresser next to him as he sighs. “I’ll lend you some pajamas, so you’re not sleeping in what you’ve been wearing all day, and then we can talk about dinner. Does that work?”

“ _ Whatever _ .” Rey groans again, grabbing the doorframe in her hands as Ben crouches down and quickly unzips his suitcase. He hurriedly sorts through his stuff, careful not to flash Rey any of his underwear or anything, before he pulls out his nicest pair of black joggers and a plain white t-shirt.

He throws them to her, as she sighs and bundles them up to her chest.

“If you hear crying, just ignore it.” She hums, walking into the bathroom and  _ slamming _ the door shut behind her as Ben stares.

  
Okay, so, this is going to be a  _ weird _ night. That’s been made  _ very _ clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pEACHY. KEEN.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey does  _ not _ look that much better when she comes out of the bathroom, Ben laying down on the bed and watching the news as she takes a deep breath and gathers herself together. He’s taken the opportunity, while she was showering, to change into pajamas himself. Just get it over with, try to avoid any more awfully awkward conversations than are strictly necessary.

“If I start crying, will you freak out?” She asks, Ben perking his head up and quickly sitting up on the bed as she makes her entrance. As he looks her over, taking in the way she’s used her hair tie to try and tie up the hem of  _ his _ shirt as  _ his _ black joggers sit high on her hips. As her wet hair, now down and slowly tangling as it dries, falls around her face.

She looks like a fucking  _ dream _ .

A dream who’s kind of shaking, a little, as she holds back her emotions.

Ben takes a second to come back to himself when he realizes there are more pressing issues at hand, shaking his head as he moves to stand from where he had been resting. Her face goes all red, and Ben can see how hard she’s working not to break down in front of him as she takes a step back and he stills. “Hey, no, it’s okay. What’s going on?” He asks, even though he knows  _ exactly _ what’s going on.

Rey throws her hands in the air, Ben watching as she opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out for a moment.

Until it all comes out, tears bubbling up at the corners of her eyes as he hears her take in a shaky breath.

“Everything! Everything is wrong!”

Ben stares, feeling completely out of his depth as her eyes go all glassy and he rushes over to her. As he grumbles a little to himself, stopping just short of her again as she whines and tries to blink her tears away, to no avail. Oh, god.

“Everything is wrong and I don’t know why!”

Ben just stands in front of her for a moment, mind blanking on exactly what he should  _ say- _

“My car is dead in my driveway at home, I almost missed our flight today because of a  _ weird _ uber driver, TSA went through my  _ fucking shit _ and threw out all the food I brought for myself for the flight so I had to buy an overpriced breakfast sandwich that was  _ definitely  _ at least a day old-“

Ben tilts his head to the side. Well, that explains the breakfast sandwich hanging out of her mouth, at least.

“I nearly have a full blown  _ panic attack _ on the flight here, because I  _ hate _ flying and I didn’t tell you because we had  _ three fucking days to plan this _ , and then my luggage doesn’t even end up on the plane once we land! And  _ then _ -“

Ben stands still, as she starts  _ heavily _ crying and he just stares with wide eyes in front of her. Shit, okay. This is happening. Rey is having a breakdown. Okay, okay,  _ okay- _

“Then I fuck up the rooms! Why did I fuck up the rooms! I can’t even have a meltdown in peace! I don’t know why this is happening to me!”

Ben watches, as she rubs her eyes with the heels of her palms and she loudly groans with a stomp of her bare foot on the carpet. As she  _ sobs _ in front of him, and he tries to figure out how to deal with this.

Ben, again, is  _ not _ very good with pretty young women who are crying. Especially if it’s Rey.

He feels  _ useless _ , because he doesn’t know how to cope with this situation as she hiccups and gasps for air. As his hands hang low by his sides, and she sighs in front of him.

“Can I hug you? Is that okay?” Ben finally asks, as she continues to cry, trying to keep his voice and energy low as she nods. As he gently steps forward and wraps his arms around her, tugging her closer than he’s allowed himself to in the past.

As she lets him, leaning against his chest as she cries it all out against him. He feels her tears hit his chest, as his heart pounds and he leans his cheek against her temple.

He slowly brings a hand up to her hair, patting the top of her head in kind of an awkward ‘there, there’ type of gesture that he immediately regrets. 

“I got you mac and cheese. It’ll be up here soon.” He finally sighs after a moment, unable to come up with any other reassuring words right now. Because there are a million things he  _ could _ say, but he doesn’t feel are appropriate. Because this  _ whole _ situation borderline isn’t, and Ben  _ knows _ that his feelings for her are going to complicate every little detail of tonight. He  _ knows _ this.

“Thank you.” She whines, voice shaking as she hiccups again. As she continues to cry, but the cries quiet with time. As Ben resorts to rubbing her back, and she soaks his t-shirt with her hair.

Ben nods, hanging on to her and supporting her as he feels her arms tentatively wrap around his torso. As she holds him close, pressing her face into his chest as she quietly hiccups and shakes in his arms.

He is  _ not _ going to survive tonight.

✈-☆-✈

Once Rey finally steps away from him and she tries to apologize for freaking out like that, Ben moves to his laptop bag as she settles down on the bed. She’s still having a total meltdown, and room service will take another twenty minutes, so he hopes this will be enough.

He tells her she shouldn’t apologize as he searches for something, digging through his bag.

He grabs the snacks from the plane, a bag of chips, two of the ritz cracker things with the orange cheese in the middle, and one bag of pretzels, before marching up to her and dumping them all in her lap. Because she’s in a  _ mood _ , and Ben knows this will help. Because there wasn’t a good time to give this to earlier, but he figures it’s now or never.

She squeaks in surprise, as he walks around the bed and sits down on the other side with her. The news continues to play on the tv, as he crosses his arms and stares straight ahead.

He turns to look at her after a silent moment, when he doesn’t hear the key crinkle of plastic he had been expecting, to find her staring back at him with a confused look on her face.

“You fell asleep when the snack people came by.” He hums, like this should be obvious. “So I grabbed some for you. And me. But I don’t like… things.”

“No, I  _ know _ you don’t like  _ things _ -”

Ben blinks, as Rey grabs the cracker packet and  _ rips _ it open. She doesn’t finish her thought, as she shoves one of the discs in her mouth with a grumble.

He looks back at the tv, as she silently eats next to him. Crunching, on her ‘cheese’ crackers.

“Don’t ruin your dinner.” He quietly warns, watching as the news moves to commercials for the time being. Rey elbows him in the side as she huffs, holding a hand up to her mouth as she furrows her brow and he turns to look down at her. The  _ audacity- _

She stares back at him, as he huffs at her. She speaks through a full mouth, holding a hand up to her face. “Impossible. I have a bottomless stomach.”

“Oh I know that-“

Rey elbows him again, as he squawks and shuffles away from her a little. She has  _ pointy _ elbows. “It’s not a  _ bad _ thing-“

“Can I be honest?” She interrupts, grabbing the bag of pretzels and  _ throwing _ them at Ben's head.

He nods, barely catching them with a fumble, because Rey can always be honest with him. They have a full honesty policy, he thinks. It’s one of his favorite things about her. She  _ never _ holds back when he screws up.

“You can be a  _ jerk _ sometimes.”

Ben freezes, hands poised to open the bag of pretzels as he grumbles and furrows his brow. Rey giggles a little as he sighs and turns to her again, her eyes narrowed but not unkind. He can  _ feel _ the blush in his face, as he huffs.

She pops another cheese cracker in her mouth, meltdown slowly fading now that she has food in her body and things are a little more calm.

“I know.” He hums, nudging her side with his arm. Making sure to be gentle with her. “I know I’m a jerk. But, for the record, I don’t  _ try _ to be a jerk. I just can’t make sentences not sound mean.”

“You’re not mean you’re just…”

“Abrasive? Rough around the edges? Hard to get along with?” Ben gasps, playing up the hurt as she rolls her eyes and groans.

“ _ Misunderstood _ . You’re misunderstood.” She hums, shrugging as she goes quiet.

Ben stills, his brain taking a second to understand that she just said that. Something he’s always kind of  _ gotten _ , but didn’t think other people did.

“And you understand me?” He sighs, television long forgotten as she nods. His surprise must be unexpected to her, because she continues to nod with a furrowed brow as she eyes him up and down.

She quietly chews, holding a hand over her lips as she continues to speak with her mouth full. “Yes, I do. I’ve spent ten months, eight hours a day, hanging out with you. I know your favorite coffee order from the place down the block, I know how you hate the bluejays outside of your window,  _ hell _ , you once asked me for dating advice  _ and  _ advice for your parents anniversary in the same breath-“

Which, for the record, he never used the dating advice because he was just trying to see if Rey would respond at all to his request. If it would rattle her, or upset her in any way.

It did not, and Ben knows it shouldn’t have anyways.

Doesn’t change the fact he  _ really _ wanted it to.

His parents were pleased as punch with the art piece he bought them, though.

“We’re-“

She stills, going back to her sleeve of cheese crackers as she hums to herself and gets a little lost in thought for a moment. She stares straight ahead, like she’s trying to figure something out.

“Ben, are we  _ friends _ ?” She asks, turning back to him as he slowly starts to open the small bag of pretzels again. Are they? Is it fair if they say that? They do spend, like,  _ all _ of their time with each other.

He nods, because he would like to  _ think _ so. “Yeah. I would say yes. I think we’re friends, Rey.”

That’s a lie, actually, Rey is like… his  _ best _ friend the more that he thinks about it. Ben is close with other people, but it’s him, Poe Dameron, and Rey Niima. And Poe has been hanging out with that intern, Finn, an  _ awful _ lot lately-

Rey nods, once, before throwing another cracker in her mouth. She only has one left in the packet, she downed that sleeve  _ fast _ . She must be  _ starving _ .

“Good.” She hums, squeaking a little as he stares at her. “Good. So, we can be chill about this whole thing? Professional during the daytime, friends at night? This is okay?”

Ben nods, exhaling in relief. He would  _ really  _ like that. That would make this whole thing  _ so _ much easier. And not just the room situation or the clothes situation, but the  _ traveling  _ situation. Because, most likely, they’re going to be spending the rest of the week together as well. Meals, adventures in navigating around the city,  _ building hunting _ .

He looks out the window, as the sun sets outside. It’s just dipped below the horizon, the last slivers of daylight slowly fading against the metal skyscrapers as lights flicker on inside of apartment windows and the lamps in the hotel room become more necessary. Fading from pink, to red, to a dark purple as he stares.

“That means I’m not your boss at night. Once the sun sets, I’m officially just your friend. Is that okay?”

Rey silently nods again, as Ben turns and pops a pretzel in his mouth before offering the bag to her. She’s looking out the window too, eyeing the sunset. Taking in the fact they need to figure out how to be  _ just friends _ right now. Let everything else fade away, and try to act normal about this whole bizarre situation.

She grabs three, after eating her last cheese cracker sandwich with a sigh.

“Good. I like that.” She hums, continuing to silently crunch as Ben nods. He really should get up and get his suits in the closet, before they get too wrinkled, but the sun has already dipped below the horizon. Oops.

That means he’s calling it quits for the night, or at least until the nagging in his brain overrides his exhaustion.

“I’m gonna take you  _ clubbing _ .” He jokes, turning and grinning at her as she snorts at him. Her nose wrinkles up, as he smiles and leans towards her just a little. Teasing her, trying to be  _ friendly _ .

She shakes her head at him, laughing as he smiles and she sees right through his poor attempts at trying to be cool for her. “No you’re not-“

“No I’m not.” He affirms as he sits back up with a sigh, because even though it had been fun idea-

Ben can’t remember the last time he went out to a club and  _ enjoyed _ it.

“We’re  _ never _ telling Rose about this, right?” She clarifies, pointing between the two of them as she smiles. Ben watches her face for a moment, her eyes still bloodshot from crying and wet hair slowly drying and dripping on the pillowcases behind her. They  _ can’t _ tell anybody about this, they are breaking  _ so _ many rules right now. At  _ least _ ten, not including when Ben fell asleep on top of her earlier-

Not like they haven’t been breaking them all day, or they haven’t broken them  _ before _ -

He nods, moving his arm so it’s linked with hers as she groans and tries to shuffle away from him with little success. “Sure. Off the clock, off the record?”

“We’re going to be in  _ so much trouble! _ ” Rey whines again, as Ben sighs and his smile falters.

He nods, because it seems kind of inevitable at this point. They are going to be in  _ so _ much trouble.

He keeps his arm linked through hers, though, as she slowly moves to lean against his side. As her head quietly rests against his bicep, and he easily loops his pinkie finger around hers.

He stares down at her, as she sighs and rubs her cheek against his sleeve.

“Pinkie promise, we’re gonna be chill about this. Right? Even if it’s weird, we’re gonna be cool?”

Rey nods after a moment, locking her finger around his and giving his hand a firm shake. “Yeah. Long as you promise not to fire me for fucking up the hotel rooms. Then we’re cool.”

Ben nods, because he would  _ not _ fire Rey for fucking up the hotel rooms, even if he could. It sounds like it was an honest mistake, a miscommunication, and if that’s what’s got her so worried right now then she…

She shouldn’t be.

“I don’t even have the  _ jurisdiction _ to fire you, Rey.” He hums, staring at her as he furrows his brow. “You know that, right? That’s all my mom? I don’t have  _ any _ control over that. You’re fine.”

“Yes you do!” She squeaks, turning to look up at him as she reaches and steals another pretzel. “You’re- boss man. You have the power. You could fire me,  _ easy _ .”

Ben shakes his head, because he  _ couldn’t. _

“I could, theoretically,  _ campaign _ to get someone fired-“ He hums, Rey's eyes widening as he shrugs. “But I don’t get  _ any _ final say in hiring and staffing decisions. My mom hired you, my mom could fire you. And, you know what?” He hums, leaning in closer as he pops a pretzel in his mouth.

“What?” Rey sighs, sounding severely exasperated with him as he bumps her with his elbow again. 

“She could fire me, too. On the spot. If I hurt you?” He exhales, making a show of it as she quietly smiles. “I’d be out of a job. You’d probably  _ replace _ me, actually.”

Rey snorts, a noise he doesn’t think he’s ever heard her make before, as he grins. “ _ God _ no, I couldn’t work your job. I know your hours, and I have  _ hobbies _ . A  _ life _ -”

“Hobbies?” He hums, deeply interested in these  _ hobbies _ of hers that he’s never heard about before. 

She smacks his arm, as he giggles. “Yes! Hobbies! I have hobbies! I-I  _ tried _ knitting, once.”

“How did that turn out?” He hums, turning back to the tv as she groans.

“Not well.” She mumbles, slowly resting more of her weight on his side as she sighs. “I made a hat, and Rose said it looked like a squished jellyfish.”

“Oh.” Ben hums, wincing as she shuts her eyes and he looks down at her. He gently grabs her hand, patting the back of it to try and soothe her as she exhales. He doubts it was  _ that _ bad. Rey  _ couldn’t _ have been capable of making something that bad. 

She’s not able to do  _ anything _ bad.

  
This is going to be a  _ weird _ night.


	6. Chapter 6

“We should make a pros and cons list.” Rey hums, pacing through the hotel room as she eats. Incapable of sitting down, now that it’s getting later in the night and the time to actually  _ sleep _ gets closer. 

“Why?” Ben hums, trying not to choke on his veggie burger as she eyes his fries.

He slides the plate across the desk after a moment, to where she can reach, and he watches as she steals a few and sticks them in the cheese sauce of her mac and cheese like some  _ animal _ . A genius animal, yes, but still like a wild animal.

“If you sleep on the floor, I’m going to have to deal with you being…  _ you _ tomorrow.”

“Ouch.” Ben hums, as she shoves the fries in her mouth and he balks. “I mean, I understand, but  _ ouch _ .”

She turns back to him, sighing as she chews and raises a hand to cover her mouth. “Sorry, that was mean. You’re fine. I’m just at the end of my rope right now.”

Ben nods, slowly setting his food down and wiping his hands off on a napkin as he sighs. He grabs a pen and the little notepad that the hotel has supplied from the desk, setting up a pros and cons table.

“We need to be nicer to each other. First off.” Rey hums, spinning on her heel and pointing at him with her fork. “If we’re gonna make this work, this  _ whole _ week work, we have to learn to stop being accidentally mean to each other. Otherwise we’re going to get sick of each other before tomorrow night ends, and one of us is going home in a body bag. Clearly we don’t work well in large doses, like this.”

“I’m not good with words.” Ben hums, tilting his head as she sighs. “You  _ know _ that. I’m not good with my words. I’m going to fuck up.”

She nods, starting to pace again as she stabs more pasta onto her utensil. “Yes, I do know that. You’re an  _ ass _ with your words, sometimes.”

“Hey!” He squawks, as she turns on him again.

She shrugs, face going all pink as he pouts at her. “Okay, fine! I deserved that! But, for the record,  _ you _ started it when you said I was, what was it, a ‘nobody from nowhere’ when I was first hired? Was that it?”

Ben sighs, rolling his eyes as she walks back over to him and looks over his shoulder at the empty pros and cons table. Yeah. He said that. Rey has  _ every _ right to be dragging that over his head right now, after the way he’s acted towards her and the day she’s had.

He believes it was somewhere between ‘I don’t need an assistant’ and ‘she’s  _ nothing _ ’ followed immediately by ‘she’s  _ something else _ ’ as Rey chewed him out over his statement and he fell head over heels for her in an instant. 

The whole interaction took about thirty seconds, if he remembers correctly.

“I’m sorry I said that. I fucked up. You know that.” He hums, as she gently sets a hand on his shoulder. He’s apologized  _ countless _ times for it, because he knows how badly that hurt her, but never so…

Directly. Honestly.  _ Sincerely _ .

He would like to leave it in the past, if he’s honest. It makes him feel shitty when she brings it up.

She squeezes his shoulder, in what he thinks is her way of halfway accepting his apology, as he goes back to the pros and cons list.

“I had you set in my contacts as ‘boss baby’, with a bottle emoji and everything at the end, for the first three months we were working together. If that makes you feel any better.” She sighs, leaning against him as he snorts.

“You did  _ what _ now?” He hums, turning up to her as she leans against his shoulder. 

She shrugs, as he stares up at her in concern.

“You can’t fire me. And now we’ve both offended each other, so-“

_ God- _

Ben groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose as she laughs. This girl… he adores this girl and her bluntness more than she knows. But he can’t believe she was  _ hiding _ this from him. Keeping him out like this.

“Okay, what  _ else _ do you need to tell me about so we don’t end up killing each other over the next five days? So we can put our awful communication skills behind us?” He hums, both curious and terrified to see what else she might be hiding from him for fear of  _ losing her job. _ Which, he should make clear, was never in his control.

Rey exhales, setting her dinner on the desk as she takes a step back from him. She places her hands together, starting to think as she stares up at the ceiling. 

Ben watches her sway her hips, and he slowly realizes how  _ active _ Rey is. She needs to move as she thinks, she’s always  _ moving _ .

“Uh, I’m the one who set up the secret prize pool to get you pied in the face for charity last spring?”

Ben just stares at her, as she flashes finger guns at him and he gawks. He had whipped cream up his nose  _ all day _ because of that! He had to wash out his hair in the bathroom sink, because he had a quarterly review that afternoon!

She ruined one of his  _ nice _ shirts!

“That was  _ you _ ? I thought it was my mother!”

“Oh she was in on it, but it was  _ my _ idea-“

“Rey!”

“What?”

Ben just stares at her, wide eyed as she stares back. She starts laughing at him, as he grabs the notepad and chucks it at her head as she squeaks. “I am getting you back for that. I swear to god, I am  _ so _ getting you back for that as soon as we get home.”

Rey scoffs, grabbing the notepad from the floor as Ben grumbles. They stare at each other again for a moment, Ben  _ beyond _ wounded by this revelation as she fixes the wrinkled pages with a huff. Why was she  _ hiding _ this from him? It's not like he’s made her feel like she can’t trust him, has he?

“You called me a nobody!”

“Poe pied me in the face!”

“I apologized!”

“So did I!”

They both get worked up into a tizzy. Ben crossing his arms as she takes a deep breath. Normally, at this point, one of them would  _ leave _ and the argument would turn into just another weird spat between them.

But they  _ can’t _ leave. Because they’re stuck in the same hotel room. A thousand miles away from home, and with nowhere else to go.

“I’m sorry-“ They say at the same time. Rey takes a deep breath, as Ben follows and does the same.

She reaches out, taking the plastic pen from him as he offers it to her. “I don’t mean to fight with you, all the time. I’m just not very good with my words either. Okay? We need to stop holding past mistakes over each other's heads, and just  _ move on _ . Can we do that?”

Ben nods, because if anybody in the world gets it…

It’s him.

He sighs, grabbing another fry for himself as she taps her pen against the notepad and begins to pace across the hotel room again.

Ben realizes she’s nervous, as she starts biting her thumb again as she walks. 

He doesn’t know how he feels about the fact she gets nervous around him, sometimes.

He doesn’t think he likes it very much.

✈-☆-✈

“Okay,  _ so _ -“ Rey hums, finally standing up from the armchair in the corner of the room as Ben tries to sort out his suits in the closet. He has no clue what she’s working on, but she’s been quietly writing away for the last twenty minutes, in little sporadic intervals of sketching and scratching out.

“Pros and cons of getting stuck together tonight, and  _ potentially  _ having to share a bed. Pro, we’re already getting along better, and having to talk our feelings out. Con, we’re having to talk our feelings out. That’s a tough one.”

Ben stills, staring at her as she furrows her brow and looks up at him as he finishes brushing off his nice blue suit. She freezes, like she’s waiting for him to say something as they watch each other, but he’s too stunned by her saying ‘potentially having to share a bed’ for him to really react properly in any way right now. Is she seriously considering this? Because he  _ needs _ to know if she’s seriously considering this or not  _ right fucking now _ .

“Pro, I found out you can’t fire me. So, ha-ha. Fuck you. Also, con, I have a whole new fear of your mother. Our afternoon lunches are going to be  _ very _ different now.”

Ben tilts his head, because he thinks that’s the first time Rey has cursed  _ at _ him- What is happening?

“Pro, we’re friends now. Which is good. You’re nice, when you want to be. Con, you’re not always nice to me.”

“ _ Which _ I am working on. I promise,” he interrupts, pointing at her as he jumps into the conversation, “I’m gonna start working on that since you  _ clearly _ feel more comfortable calling me out instead of acting all-“

She glares at him, slamming her hand on top of her pros and cons list to grab his attention as he shuts up.

“ _ As I was saying _ . Con, you’re not always nice to me.”

She gives him a second, scrawling something else in the margins. As Ben realizes that, yes,  _ he needs to work on it. _

“But he’s trying.”

Ben nods, satisfied with that answer.

He’s working on it.

✈-☆-✈

Rey hangs off the edge of the bed, upside down and continuing to work on her pros and cons list as Ben sits on the floor in front of her. So he can stare at her, as she reads and her voice gets all funky from being upside down for so long.

She’s been working on this for like… an  _ hour _ . It’s getting kind of obsessive.

“Pro, we’ve already been asleep around each other before. I fell asleep on the plane, and you fell asleep on top of me. It wouldn’t be that weird if we slept in the same bed, especially if we put a pillow wall between us or something.”

Ben nods, as she bites on the end of the pen and sighs.

“Stop chewing, that’s not your pen.” He hums, pulling it from her mouth as she gasps. 

She tries to grab it back, as he huffs and tosses it across the room. It hits the window, bouncing off of the glass with a small  _ plink _ . She needs to stop  _ chewing _ on things, including herself. If she has extra energy, she can walk around in circles or something until she gets tired. But no chewing on plastic pens until they’re all misshapen and weird.

He doesn’t want her ingesting plastic, or ink, or anything like that. Last thing they need is an emergency room visit right now.

She whines his name, reaching for the pen as he laughs. “You said you weren’t going to be mean anymore! You  _ promised!” _

“I’d also like you to not get sick, Rey. Who  _ knows _ where that pen has been.” It probably has gross hand germs all over it.  _ Disgusting. _ “This isn’t me being mean, this is me  _ keeping you safe. _ ”

She groans, reaching out and stretching as he stands again. As he grabs her arms, forcefully pulling her up into a sitting position so she doesn’t get a headache. “And what are the cons to sharing a bed, besides the obvious Rose shaped ones?” He hums, hoping to detract from the conversation involving his worries around her right now. Because he isn’t quite completely ready to divulge that information to her yet. Especially if they do end up going through with this, which is looking more and more likely with every passing second.

“We’d have to talk about it in the morning.” She sighs, staring up at him as he stands behind her. He moves to sit next to her, facing opposite directions, as she exhales. Even if they don’t tell anybody about this, because they never can, they have to be okay with keeping this between them. With talking it out  _ before _ they leave this hotel room. “That’s a non-negotiable. We have to figure out how it would change our relationship, because I’ll  _ never _ be able to take you seriously again if you talk in your sleep or something. And we both have to be prepared for that possibility.”

Ben sighs, leaning back on the bed as Rey stares down at him. He points at her, as he tries to think this through. All the risks and rewards. The benefits, the downfalls. The invitation, and the decision to either accept or deny this thing he wants so much, just not under  _ these _ particular circumstances.

“Wait, I have a con.” He hums, wincing as he stares up at her. “I’m a cuddler. If you wake up in the middle of the night, there is a  _ very _ real possibility I’ll be trying to wrap my arms around you. So… I’m giving you a fair warning, okay?”

Rey  _ awwws, _ as Ben puffs out his cheeks at her and furrows his brow. “That’s cute.”

He groans, resting an arm over his eyes as Rey coos over him for a moment. It’s- It’s  _ not- _

He goes quiet, as she slowly wraps her fingers around his wrist and rubs the bone there.

She gives him a second, as he works not to open his mouth and say something  _ stupid _ and defensive in response. Because he is actively trying to be a better communicator with her right now, and he’s also trying not to be a total asshole too.

“Sorry.” She hums, after he’s been quiet for a little too long, sounding like she genuinely means it. “I-It’s difficult to not tease you, sometimes. I’m not good at talking to people.”

“I know.” Ben hums, lifting his arm from his face. “I know. We’re both shitty communicators. It’s why we get on each other's nerves so much, why we're so mean to each other sometimes.”

She nods, furrowing her brow as he sighs. When they hang out too much too, apparently.

“We can be adults about this. Right?” She hums, staring at him as he examines her worried hazel eyes. “And, we’re doing a much better job of communicating now. So… we can be adults about this. Right?”

Ben nods, although he doesn’t really know what he’s getting himself into here.

He has  _ no _ clue if this is a good idea or not.

  
But he’s  _ definitely _ about to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

Ben shuffles through his laptop bag, grabbing his book as Rey adjusts the pillows on the bed into a sort of… wall… situation… between the two sides. Separating them. Parting the Red Sea, as it were, with down pillows. 

He stares, book in hand, as she quietly wiggles around and eventually gets comfortable under the comforter. She flushes a pretty sort of pink when she looks up at him, and he gulps and uneasily smiles back at her before moving to the other side of the bed. Trying to kind of curl into himself, to avoid being seen as much as possible right now. Avoid overthinking all of this, because this is  _ fine. _

He turns off the lights on the way, leaving only the tv and the two lamps on the nightstands on as he crawls under the sheets with her, setting his book down on the table next to him as Rey silently scrolls through the channels with the remote.

She scrolls for a while longer, as he picks up the book again and flips to where he had marked it earlier with a sigh. “You’re not going to find anything good.” He hums, sitting up and trying to get comfortable as she scoffs. As she reaches over and turns off her lamp with a click, and Ben tries to read.

He tilts the book towards his light, sighing as she shuffles again. And again, a couple seconds after that.

“I’ll find something. I always do.” She hums, kind of wiggling and curling up a little more on her side. Until she’s comfortable, he supposes, and he listens to the quiet hum of the tv as she clicks to some travel channel or other.

Ben glances at her, as she leans against the pillows and sighs again.

She shuffles, still struggling to get comfortable, as he reaches out and grabs her shoulder.

“Stop. Just, stop moving. You’re fine.”

She glares at him, as he quickly removes his hand and goes back to reading.

She eventually curls up around the pillow wall, wrapping an arm over it as she grumbles.

Ben keeps an eye on her,  _ beyond _ weirded out by this woman and her inability to keep still.

✈-☆-✈

Ben must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he opens his eyes Rey is staring down at him and pulling his book from his face. He takes a moment to realize that he is  _ not _ in fact dreaming, and that this is very much a real thing that is happening between them right now.

He blinks, as she grimaces and reaches over his head to set the novel on the counter. He hears the tv continue to chatter behind her, as he tries to understand what’s going on with a sigh and a curious peek around the hotel room.

“Sorry, sorry, you fell asleep with your book on your face. I’m trying to help.” She hums, nervously backing off as he sighs and shuts his eyes again.

Ben grumbles in response, batting his hand through the air. It’s fine, it’s whatever. It’s happened before. He’s used to it.

She exhales, and squeezes his shoulder as he turns on his side. Turns  _ away _ from her, with the last vestiges of his brain still intact and functioning.

“I’m gonna turn off your light for you. Is that okay?” She hums, gently rubbing his shoulder as he nods. That’s fine, he’s ready to fall asleep anyways. The light should go off, and if he doesn’t have to do so? Even better.

He vaguely registers a shadow moving over his head, as he cracks an eye open and watches Rey stretch over him and switch off the light. She moves over his face, Ben grumbling as the bed shifts and she struggles a little. The positioning isn’t great, obviously, even if it does allow Ben a lovely view of her torso.

He puts a hand on her stomach, helping hold her up as she squeaks. She growls his name, but gets the light off before shuffling to the other side of the mattress.

“No grabbing.” She sighs, slapping his shoulder as he apologizes. 

He lies in silence for a moment, shutting his eyes again as he sighs and curls up on himself. 

Yeah. Weird night.

✈-☆-✈

Ben wakes up a couple hours later, facing a slowly deteriorating pillow wall as he grumbles to himself and checks the time by popping up on his elbow and peering over Rey's sleeping body. It takes a second for his vision to clear, the electric green numbers on the alarm clock in the hotel room piercing through the pitch black sleeping space. Rey must have shut the curtains before she went to sleep, the room is  _ dark _ .

It’s only around twelve-thirty pm, they’ve been asleep for about two hours. Or, well, Ben has. He doesn’t know when Rey finally went to sleep.

He stares down at her, as he realizes why he woke up.

Rey is  _ thrashing _ , in her sleep. Talking, too, as she scoots towards him and he quietly sighs. The woman can’t sit still, clearly. She is  _ incapable _ of being still. He knows he can be bit much when he sleeps, but he wasn’t expecting  _ her _ to be the exact same.

She suddenly scrambles towards him as he grunts in surprise, mumbling something about  _ zombies _ , although it might actually be  _ zambonis _ , as she huffs and breeches the pillow wall with more speed than he was expecting.

And Ben really shouldn’t be as astonished as he is when Rey rolls over the flattened pillows and lands directly on top of his chest. As he gets the breath knocked out of him by her, and Rey just continues to  _ kick _ at him like she’s trying to kill him or something. 

He grunts, as he blinks awake and she straightens against his chest after a long moment. As she grunts and grumbles in her sleep, and he stares down at her.

She hugs him, clinging onto him as he stares.

His body betrays him in an instant, heart pounding and mind going all fuzzy as he gulps.

And she can’t  _ stay _ like this, obviously, so he slowly tries to move her off of him. With two firm hands on her sides, he gently pushes her off of his chest and gets her about halfway back to her side of the bed before she retaliates.

And she retaliates like  _ hell _ .

She  _ slaps _ him in the face, on accident, as he gasps and tries to understand what just happened. He drops her when he realizes that her feet are  _ dangerously _ close to a certain part of his body that he would rather she  _ not _ kick, and she comes yo-yo-ing back to him with an unnerving amount of strength.

He lies there, arms held out to the sides, as she attaches herself to his body like a squid. A squid who does  _ not _ want to be separated from him right now, apparently.

“We can’t do this.” He hums, although she just responds with a tiny grunt in his ear as he sighs. “Rey, we  _ can’t _ do this.”

She snorts again, mocking him even as she sleeps.

Ben exhales in response, taking a deep breath out as she cozies up against him. As he realizes how this is making her chill out, and the angry tossing and turning has finally stopped.

He leans his head back, thinking.

He has a couple options, here.

He could just let Rey do this, because this was going to happen one way or another. Sure, he’s surprised that she’s the one who initiated, but they were probably going to end up like this no matter what. Just roll with it, and keep on keeping on while she clings onto him. Maybe try and turn around so she’s grabbing onto his back instead of his front, but just generally let her have this.

Or he could try to pull her off of him again, and potentially get slapped again in her desperate attempts to get back to him for some reason.

Ben decides he would rather not risk the second, as Rey nestles under his chin and slowly sighs warm air against his neck.

“If you get mad at me, this is your fault.” He hums, unable to look down at her as he  _ slowly _ lowers his arms around her. As he remains hyper vigilant of where he touches, Rey whining against his skin as he takes a deep breath.

She sighs his name, as he silently curses  _ whatever _ god put him in this situation right now. However the hell he ended up like this, wrapped up in her arms as he silently imagines all the reasons she might have said his name  _ like that. _

Is she dreaming of him?

Does she dream of him… often?

He shakes those thoughts loose, as he stares at the wall over her head and tries to get comfortable.

Rey finally quiets against him, as she settles in as well. She finally stops  _ kicking _ , and just curls up against whatever parts of his body she can reach.

Ben tries to roll a little, though, so he isn’t in such a vulnerable position. So  _ they _ aren’t in such a vulnerable position.

She bites his shoulder, as he winces and comes back to her with a sigh. 

Yeah, okay, he’s trapped. Rey has trapped him. He can’t move.

Ben grumbles, and tries to figure out how the  _ hell _ he’s going to explain this to her in the morning.

  
He needs a good idea, and  _ fast _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "rey is feral" tag is also probably appropriate here...


	8. Chapter 8

It’s still dark when Ben wakes up again, having fallen asleep next to Rey while thinking about a cover story as to why they’re intertwined like this. Why his arms are around her, and why she’s cozied up against his chest.

He wakes up with her face in his, though, and he nearly _dies_ when he blinks awake and all he sees are two hazel eyes staring back at him in confusion.

He startles, Rey squeaking as he pulls back and panics. Holy _shit-_

He groans as he realizes that it’s _just Rey_ , voice warbling as she stares in shock.

“You scared me. Holy shit, you scared me.”

Rey giggles, as he raises one hand and rubs his eyes. She remains curled up next to him, as he catches his breath and exhales with his hand on his chest.

She leans her head against his arm, as Bens heart continues to pound and he turns back to her. He can’t believe she just did that. _Why_ is she awake right now?

She’s shut her eyes again, cheek against his inner bicep as she exhales. Essentially using him as a pillow, which he finds himself _completely_ fine with.

“Ben?” She asks, sighing as he hums back in affirmation that he’s listening to her right this moment, “How did I end up here?”

Ben stills, looking around the corner of the bed they’re currently occupying before turning towards the ceiling as he sighs. Yeah. That’s a good question

“Uh, you kicked me. I woke up. Then you said something about zombies? You breached the pillow wall.”

Rey quietly exhales, eyes still closed as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Okay.”

“You also slapped me. And bit me. But that’s fine.”

Rey's eyes pop open, looking up at him in suspicion as he stares down at her. Neither of them make any move to leave the other, before Rey slowly rolls on her stomach and looks over the bed with a sigh.

She seems to realize what the situation is, slowly examining the shoved aside pillows and the placement of their bodies. How Ben is getting kind of pushed to the edge of the bed, here, and she’s moved them both towards one part of the mattress.

“Huh.” She hums, voice still all tired and groggy as she slowly exhales.

Another second passes, Ben shuffling and shifting into a more comfortable position as Rey remains on her stomach next to him. As he watches her profile in the darkness, and she continues to take in the scenery.

He sets a hand on her back, trying to be gentle with her as he figures out what to do next.

Suddenly a _wave_ of mortification crests over her, as Ben's recollections of how they ended up in this exact situation settle in.

She examines his face, and she goes _pale_ as he settles on his side next to her.

“ _Please_ don’t tell me I bit you.”

“You bit me.” Ben exhales, rolling on his shoulder as Rey squeaks. He pulls down his collar, showing her the bite mark he can still feel at the bottom of his neck as she gasps.

“ _Why!_ Why did I bite you?” She wonders out loud, soft fingertips slowly examining the mark. Ben's body goes all tingly, hairs at the back of his neck standing up as he sighs.

He shrugs, as she groans and places her head against the pillow behind her head.

“You should fire me.”

“Rey-“

“I _bit_ you! Why on earth did I bite you! I’m not a toddler, I’m capable of normal human interaction and communication-“

Ben sighs, as Rey groans and drags the blankets over her face.

“You also slapped me. I tried to move you away, and you _slapped_ me.”

She loudly whines again in pure embarrassment, as Ben smiles.

He pulls her out from under the blankets, grumbling as she struggles against his grasp. He grunts as they move against each other, Rey whining as Ben groans and finally just grabs her hands again.

“You always do this.”

“Do what?”

“ _Wiggle._ You’re _wiggly.”_

Rey glares at him, finally calming down and settling in his arms as he sighs.

“You’re fine, Rey. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. I tried to move you away because I didn’t want to scare you, and you didn’t like that. It’s fine.”

Rey grumbles again, wrinkling up her nose as Ben huffs.

“I _bit_ you. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs, because he’s been through worse, as she whines again.

“I’m _so_ sorry-“

“It’s fine.” 

She rolls and wraps her arms around his neck, hugging him as he squawks in surprise. Her grip is alarmingly tight, as he huffs and settles down next to her. As he processes all of this, his own arms closing around her with a deep sigh.

“I _bit_ you.”

“Yeah.”

Rey groans again, as Ben shushes her. She’s _really_ caught up on this whole biting thing, apparently. And it was hardly a _nip_ \- “Hey, you’re fine. You didn’t know what you were doing.”

She nods for a moment, before settling her head below his with a huff.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. I know you have a-a thing about being alone. It’s okay.”

Rey nods, because they’ve discussed her history before in passing. It’s an unsavory topic for the both of them, and it makes Ben wildly upset every time it crosses his mind, but he knows it. He knows it’s a difficult part of her puzzle. A part that she has to deal with, _every_ single day.

Including when she’s asleep, apparently.

He sighs, and Rey hangs on tighter. 

“What do we do next?” He hums, still holding her as she settles again. As he feels her chest move up and down, and he gently strokes her back as lightly as he can.

“I don’t know.” She hums, shrinking against him as she groans. “I-I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

Ben nods, because he doesn’t really either.

“You would tell me if this became uncomfortable, right? If this wasn’t okay anymore? You’d leave?”

She nods, and Ben exhales in relief. Her arm goes around his torso, under his, as he sighs. What are they _doing-_

“Yeah. I would.” She hums, directly into his chest. It vibrates across his skin, in a _far_ too pleasing way.

He nods again, as she tugs on his shirt a little. He briefly wonders if he’ll be able to sleep anymore tonight, because he’s _way_ too keyed up to do so right now. He can _feel_ Rey against his body, her movements every time she needs to shift. He knows she can hear his heart pound, too, and he knows it gets _faster_ when she shuffles and his nose kind of ends up in her hair as he grumbles.

Because her hair smells really nice, as weird as that sounds.

She giggles, as he stretches a palm flat against her back before thinking better of it.

“You’re nervous. I- your heartbeat. It’s nervous.” She hums, tilting her head as he groans. Because it is, _he_ is.

He exhales against her hair, as she sighs.

“You make me nervous.” He admits, limply kind of holding her as he sighs. His guard is down, to some extent, now that they’re like this. That she’s forcing layers of his walls down. “You know that, right? You make me nervous?”

She shakes her head, and Ben quietly hopes that will be the end of it.

“Why?” She asks, because clearly, it isn’t.

Ben stares over her head as he heavily sighs, giving himself a moment to think his response through. “Uh, I mean-“

He grumbles, instinctively pulling her a little tighter as she squeaks. As she _lets_ him.

“I don’t know. I like you. I like having you around. I get nervous when I think that’s going to change.”

“Oh.” She hums, sounding surprised as he pulls away to look down at her. She blinks up at him, before rising so they’re roughly at the same eye level. “So, you don’t secretly hate me?”

Ben just stares at her, because where the hell did she get _that_ idea from-

“No! No, Rey.” He sighs, groaning as she giggles at him. “I _know_ I’m a jerk, but I don’t hate you. When are we going to get that straight, sweetheart?”

Rey just starts laughing at him, as he shuts his eyes and smiles. As he feels one of her hands rub his side, right over his ribs, and he grins at her. It feels _really_ nice to be touched like this. Something that Ben could get used to, _easily,_ if he isn’t careful.

“I’m not your fucking _secretary_ , don’t call me sweetheart.” She mumbles, although it comes out of her mouth between fits of giggles. 

Ben chuckles, as she just continues to gently rub his side and he grumbles in response. He _really_ likes that.

“What time is it?” He hums in a sudden burst of clarity, blinking one eye open at her as she sighs. As her hand leaves him and she rolls away, and Ben regrets ever asking anything from her.

“Four, or, well… nearly four. We’ve still got time to sleep.” In other words, they’re good. They’re fine. They can keep on doing this, if they want to.

She comes back to him, despite the knowledge that this _will_ have to end, as he slowly reaches out for her and she snorts.

She guides his left hand over her hip, patting his knuckles as he grabs at the hem of the shirt she’s wearing. Which is, again, _his_ shirt she’s wearing. Which is still kind of blowing his mind.

He exhales, as she slowly reaches out and rubs his side.

They lie like that for a moment, Rey shifting again before Ben quietly tugs her closer. She shifts less when she’s closer to him. He likes it when she’s shifting less.

“Sun isn’t up yet. We’re still friends.” He grumbles, as she slowly nods.

“We are.” She hums, affirming him as he sighs. Just friends, nothing else. At least, as long as they choose to keep it that way. As long as they ignore every other societal implication of what they’re doing right now.

Rey sighs, that particular sigh when she wants to ask him something she isn’t quite sure he’ll like, as he opens his eyes to watch her. As he stares her down, and she narrows her eyes in response.

“But you like me. You don’t- you don’t _hate_ me.”

“I’m scared of you,” Ben snorts, gently smiling as she makes her thinking face. The one where her brow furrows, and her eyes flicker around his features. “but no. I don’t hate you. I could never. You’re _impossible_ to hate.”

Rey stares at him, as he keeps his eyes on her. She looks conflicted, and then confused, and then kind of _relieved_ -

“You don’t have to _lie_ -“

“I’m not. I promise, I’m not.”

Rey nods, turning on her back and staring up at the ceiling as she exhales. Apparently needing a moment to process all of this.

“You called me a nobody-“

Ben pops up on his elbow, leaning over her and making sure she’s staring at him as he _fixes_ this once and for all. Because clearly this is where it all went wrong, and he’s _determined_ to make sure she understands how much she means to him. “ _Before I knew you were a somebody_ .” He hums, trying to convey absolutely _every_ weird emotion he has for her in one sentence. In one short statement, that he knows won’t do the job as soon as she turns back to him and he sighs in defeat.

“I was in a _bad_ place when we met, Rey. I had just lost _everything_ that I thought was important to me. I was two months out from quitting a _career_ that had me fucked in the head. My mother was overbearing and worried about me every second of every day, and my uncle was using his assistant to talk to me because he was freaked out by my sudden reappearance. I thought I had made the worst mistake of my life, and-and I didn’t know what I was _doing_ -“

Rey grabs his face, bringing him back to the present moment as she carefully cups his cheek in one hand. He was _terrified_ . He thought he had royally screwed himself over, in all directions. He didn’t know what to do, _how_ to do anything. 

He left everything behind. He took a leap of faith. And when he met Rey, that leap of faith was looking more like a massive _mistake_.

He continues, when Rey silently urges him to go on with a rub of her thumb over his cheek.

“Then all of a sudden, she brings in this lovely, vibrant, _spark_ of light that catches me totally off guard during an already bad day. She tells me you’re here to make things easier, to _fix_ things. To _fix_ me. And I didn’t want that. Because that’s what she always does. She tries to fix me, even though I think I’m unfixable at this point. And it’s not a bad thing, but it’s a-a _thing_. You know? I am what I am, and I have to live with that.”

Rey kind of uneasily nods, as he sighs and settles in next to her. He can't stay on his elbow for too long, but he can rest on his side and set his chin on her shoulder comfortably enough. 

“I freaked out. And it was unfair to you. And I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I don’t know how to make it better.”

Rey sighs, slowly grabbing his arm and kneading his muscles like a stress ball as she exhales. She drapes his limb over her stomach, as he quietly grumbles into her neck.

“It really hurt, you know.”

Ben nods, because he can see that now. How that’s been bugging her for awhile. How it’s hurt her view of him, and their relationship.

Or, at least, it wasn’t the right foundation.

How she hid it from him, because they’re both used to doing that he thinks.

She sighs, as he tries to pull her tighter to his chest. He places his hand on her side, laying his palm flat against her waist as she squeaks.

“Well, if you don’t hate me, do you at least like me a little bit? Like, I know we’re friends now, but you don’t always _like_ your friends. Sometimes they’re your friends because you’ve known them for way too long to say that you’re _acquaintances_ you know? Or-“

“Rey, Rey-“ Ben hums, getting back up on his elbow and shifting so his other hand is helping keep him up as well, “I like you. In fact I like you _too much_. Okay?”

Rey just stares at him, as Ben's face flushes in the dark and she goes quiet. Trying to see if she can read between the lines here, because he’s making it as obvious as can right now without actually _admitting_ this big dumb crush of his on her.

“I like you _too much_.” He repeats, making sure to enunciate well, as she stares up at him with a confused look on her face.

She then seems to get it, eyes going wide and a hand covering her mouth as she gasps. Yeah. That’s about the reaction he was expecting.

Ben grumbles, shutting his eyes as she grabs his face between her palms. “Oh- my god-“

“Rey-“

“ _That makes so much sense!_ I mean, you’re an idiot and you should have just told me-“

“Okay, we’re done here.” He groans, rolling to his left and turning away from her. Curling up on his side, as he shuts his eyes and scoots as close to the edge of the bed as humanly possible without falling off. 

Yeah, he’s going to go die of mortification now. That sounds like his next step, as he pulls the blankets over his head and groans. As she _laughs_ at him, which he completely deserves, and he tries to work through all of the steps it will take him to become a sheep herder in New Zealand by next Tuesday.

“No, Ben-“ Rey coos, slowly trying to crawl under the blankets with him as she giggles. He feels her hand settle on his shoulder before she pulls it away. “No, no. That’s- I’m sorry-“

She’s rejecting him. And Ben was one hundred percent expecting this, but it still stings like _fuck-_

He groans as he listens to her move and shuffle behind him some more. They can just- pretend this never happened. Ben will move her to another department or something. He’ll take care of it, it was stupid to even _imagine_ that she could see him the same way.

She finally settles in behind him, as he sighs. _Stupid, stupid, stupid-_

And then he feels her wrap an arm around his side from behind, and hug him as he huffs. He doesn’t know how he feels about this current situation she’s put him in, right this moment, considering he’s kind of devolving into an anxious mess.

“You’re _tall_ .” She hums, mumbling into his spine as he grumbles from where he’s still hiding under the comforter. “I forget how big you are, when we’re at the same eye level for too long. You’re _tall_.”

Ben huffs again, not really trusting his mouth-to-brain connection right now.

Rey silently pats around his chest, eventually just scooting up and grabbing onto his bicep with her hand as she settles her face in the back of his neck. As Ben furrows his brow, and she rubs her nose against his skin with a warm sigh.

Ben tries to jostle her off of him, because he _really_ doesn’t want her to try and comfort him right now. He’s fine. This is _fine_ \- This isn’t her responsibility-

Rey slides a hand down to his stomach, as he uncomfortably twitches at the sudden contact. 

“Why are you doing this?” He whines, sounding more petulant than he intends. But he’s _tired._ Tired of wanting her, tired of hurting her, tired of just- _everything_.

Rey stops immediately, sitting up behind him and placing both hands on his shoulder as she attempts to push the blankets from his face. Ben holds steadfast, but she is _insistent_. 

“Ben, talk to me.” She groans, shaking him as he grumbles.

“You _laughed_.”

“Well, I’m not laughing now, am I?”

Ben freezes, slowly pulling the blankets down so he can see her out of the corner of his eye. Just the vague outline and shape of her in the darkness, but _enough_ to hurt and send something icy through his chest. Enough to glare, as she frowns at him.

“I laugh when I get uncomfortable or scared, and I-I don’t know! It caught me off guard, you caught me off guard.” She sweetly hums, kneading his arm as he exhales. He knows. He _understands_ he caught her off guard, he caught _himself_ off guard.

Ben nods, before starting to pull the blankets back over his head. He gets it. That’s all it was, it caught her off guard.

Rey grabs them before he can do so, though, climbing over his body as he grunts and grumbles under her curious hands and legs. She squeezes his liver at one point, and he growls as she tries to grapple across his torso and find whatever she’s looking for.

Suddenly she’s in front of him, trying not to fall off of the bed as she wrestles him a little further back. But she pushes a little too hard against his chest, and she’s a little too light to do so quite right, and Ben has to catch her before she fully falls off of the mattress.

She freezes, torso half off of the bed as Ben hangs onto her shirt and she stares at him in shock. His hands land around her waist, and her palms cling onto his shirtfront with white knuckles as she squeaks.

He pulls her back to his chest slowly, and because she sees an opportunity and Rey _never_ misses a good opportunity, suddenly she’s hanging onto his front again as he groans. She’s _intent_ on killing him, apparently. Intent on making this moment worse for him.

“What if I like you a little too much, too.” She quickly hums, Ben staring at her as she settles her face in front of his. As her nose wrinkles up, and his heart stops in surprise or maybe just confusion. “I mean, maybe not a lot, but _enough_. Enough to where-“

“Enough to where-?” He quickly chokes out, grip unconsciously tightening on her lower back.

“Enough to where I’ve thought about it before. This. _Us._ Enough to where I know it’s a bad idea, but I don’t really care right now.” She whines, voice pitching up in what he knows is a nervous tic. She gets all _squeaky_ when she’s like this, when she’s uncertain about what comes next.

Ben nods, opening and closing his mouth as she examines him, as she takes stock of his face, and she quietly licks her lips.

Okay, so, she really _wasn’t_ laughing at him-

He groans, because he won’t _do anything_ until he knows this could work. Until he knows that, even if she can’t work for him anymore, they can still _make this work._ That this isn’t, like, a one time thing.

Because Rey isn’t _just_ a one time thing for him. She never has been.

And he isn’t going to hurt her or her career, he would _never_ do that to her. No matter how much relief floods his system or how fast his heart pounds at the revelation that she might feel the same. Or, at the very least, she might be _able_ to feel the same.

“My mom’s been trying to poach you since you first came on board, by the way. I know that’s _totally_ the wrong thing to say right now, but I want you to know that. You’re moving to her team as soon as the sun rises, okay? Because if we cross this line-“

“I think we’ve already crossed the line, Ben.” She scoffs, as he grimaces.

“I know.” He groans, as she grabs his face and sighs.

They stare at each other for a silent moment, Ben trying to say something to reassure her as Rey hushes him. 

She whispers, once his face is _sufficiently_ squished between her palms.

“She’s _really_ been trying to poach me? For how long?”

Ben nods, because it’s all he hears about half the time they talk shop at home. “Yeah. Since the first week you came on board. She’s been trying to steal you from me, but I think I get a little protective around you. Clearly.”

Rey nods, quietly giggling as he smiles. “Which now makes more sense.” She hums, stroking his cheek as he nods in response. He does get very protective around her, because she deserves only the best from him and everybody they work with. 

Does that mean he’s good enough? No. Does it mean he _wants_ to be? Absolutely.

Does that mean she’s caught him glaring at the boys who try to talk to her during their breaks?

Ben gets the sudden feeling that the answer is ‘ _yes, you obvious fool’._

“I told you, you make me nervous.” He hums, tilting his head as she sighs. “That wasn’t a lie either. You make me _incredibly_ nervous. I care about you too much, I like you-“

Rey just stares at him, before nodding quickly and resolutely kissing him. Pushing her lips against his, like she’s both determined to get him to shut up and like she isn’t quite sure what else to do right now.

Ben just blinks before letting his eyes flutter shut as he _tries_ to enjoy it. But it’s nervous, and cautious, and she’s kissing him like it’s through a brick wall. Their noses pushed together, Rey squeezing his face a little tightly, her eyes scrunched up too firm-

But Ben tries to give in, he really does, but this isn’t going to work until she feels more relaxed and comfortable with this very sudden progression of their personal lives. One that he _knows_ neither of them have a particular abundance of experience in.

Ben gets an idea, as Rey pulls away and stares at him with her pupils dilated.

And he hates it, because it’s _such_ a Rey idea, but he does it anyways.

“We’re gonna make a pros and cons list.” He groans, Rey just blinking at him in confusion as he moves to sit up and grab the hotel notebook.

Rey just blinks back at him, still lying down on the bed as he grumbles and narrows his eyes to get a better look around the room. Oh, she’s going to _hate_ him for doing this right now-

But it’s gotta happen. It needs to happen for her sake. And maybe Bens too, just to let his mind catch up with the fact that she not only kind of maybe likes him a little but that she _kissed_ him he thinks-

“ _What?”_ She squeaks, sitting up on the bed behind him.

She’s going to _kill_ him-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo is, and I say this with my full chest and heart, a fucking idiot. I love him.


	9. Chapter 9

Ben is already up on his feet, stumbling around the room as Rey sits up on the bed behind him. She still has a confused, weirded out look on her face as he grumbles and searches around.

Where is that  _ damn _ notepad-

He finds it, next to her charging phone by the desk. Thank god.

“Get back here!” She hisses, Ben grumbling as he runs a hand through his hair and looks for the stupid pen too.

He crouches down by the window, narrowing his eyes as he tries to find wherever it landed.

“Ben Solo, get your  _ ass _ back here right now!” 

Ben pops his head up, staring at her as she clutches the blankets to her chest. She’s  _ glaring _ at him, and he doesn’t know if he fucked up or not.

He finds the pen, pulling it into his fingers as he stands and hurries back to her on tired legs. “I don’t wanna do this if we’re not doing it right.” He hums, knowing his nerves are probably getting the best of him right now. “Because I don’t want this to be a  _ maybe _ , I need this to be a  _ certainty. _ I can’t do this if we’re not both a hundred percent  _ in _ .”

Rey stares, as Ben waits for her permission or something to sit back down again. Because he isn’t really sure  _ what _ he’s looking for right now. He just-

_ He just wants her _ . In whatever capacity she’s willing to give him. And hopefully she does too.

She nods, scooting so she’s facing him as he climbs to where she had previously been sleeping.

“You’re on  _ my _ side of the bed.” She huffs, crawling over his legs as he groans, moving and wiggling again as he tries to figure out what she wants him to do.

She pushes him back to his side, as he huffs and follows her instructions as quickly as possible. Just trying to keep his head screwed on right, as he tries to make sense of what is currently going on.

Somehow she ends up half in his lap, though, as he grumbles and stares down at her with the notepad and the pen in his palms. She reaches for his phone, stretching over him as he leans back against the headboard.

Yeah, so much for separate sides of the bed. Clearly, that isn’t working.

“What time is it?” He hums, as she flicks his phone on and turns on the flashlight. As he tentatively rests a hand on her back, before pulling it away.

She winces, as he blinks against the sudden introduction of light.

“Uh…” She groans, checking before shutting his phone screen off again. “It’s only been like ten minutes. Five past four.”

Ben nods, as Rey adjusts her grasp on the phone to focus the flashlight on the notepad. They have time. They have time to figure this out.

Ben sets up the list, as Rey sighs next to him.

He freezes, because he has no idea what to put down first. Just that they both know something  _ should _ -

“First off, we  _ like _ each other. Like that.” Rey hums, voice wavering as she grabs the pen from him and quickly scratches that down on the notepad as she juggles his phone between her fingers. “I- _ I _ like you like that, at least. I mean, and you  _ said _ you did too. Kind of-“

“I do. I really do.” He hums, turning to stare down at her as she stares back up at him. As he slowly sets a hand on her knee, rubbing it as she quickly takes that as his permission to cling onto his arm. “I like you, a whole lot. More than I should-“

“Okay. Good.” Rey squeaks again, stopping Ben from confessing anything else as his heart pounds out of his chest.

She sighs, as he quickly turns his attention back to the notepad with a clearing of his throat.

He gently takes the pen back from her, creating another bullet point as he grumbles. “I don’t want you working under me anymore, second off. Because I’m bad at keeping secrets, and I don’t think that’s a good idea in the first place-“

Rey squeezes, as he writes.

“So, pro, my mom’s been trying to poach you since forever. She’ll happily trade Kaydel for you. Cons, I lose you and I have to completely retrain an assistant.”

Rey grabs the pen back, throwing down a couple more points.

“Pros, your mom likes me and I like her. I don’t mind being moved, even if I’ll miss being  _ your _ assistant.” She hums, looking up at him as he stares down at her and tries to understand every little facet of this interaction. How she might miss being around him now that they’re looking down the barrel of this reality. “Con, we get split up when we’re just starting-“

She motions the pen between them, and Ben quickly nods.  _ This _ . She means this.

She goes back to writing, as Ben kind of gently starts rubbing his thumb over her knee. She stretches her leg over his, as she sighs and scribbles.

Ben revels in every little interaction they’re having now, every little  _ moment _ when he realizes that he’s allowed to pull these types of responses from her.

“Pro, Rose won’t be up our asses trying to figure out what happened. Con, your  _ mother _ certainly will.”

“She’ll be able to see right through it. She knows how much I adore you. As soon as we apply for the switch, she’ll know.” He sighs, watching Rey as she turns up to him. Her eyes are wide, and Ben still isn’t really sure how to read her like this.

But she goes all pink, he can see it in the reflection of the phone flashlight, and it’s-

It’s  _ everything. _

She squeaks out a response, nodding as Ben smiles. “Adore. Yeah. You adore me.”

“I  _ do.” _ He hums, grabbing her hand when it settles on the notepad again. Does she not know this? “I’m serious. I adore you. I-I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“ _ Ben _ -“

He happily grumbles, setting his face on her shoulder. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, even if it’s all true. He  _ adores _ her. She means absolutely everything to him. He would be so completely lost without her in his life. He, really and truly,  _ needs _ her.

In more ways than one, clearly. Because apparently now that the floodgates of his emotions have opened up, he’s going to be  _ incapable _ of shutting up around her.

“What about New York.” She hums, shrugging as she turns back to him. He feels her breath in his hair, as he shuts his eyes and she whispers. “You wanna move here. At least, I think you do. You miss it, and I  _ can’t _ do distance-“

Ben sighs as he furrows his brow, because he knows what she’s leading into. His entire family is settled on the other side of the continent, and so is Rey. His goal had always been to get her to follow him here anyways but-

Well, if she’s working in a different department under a different person-

And he has to move out here to help establish a new branch-

Ben realizes something, as he groans and she slowly draws back from him a little. The distance isn’t an issue. He  _ knows _ this won’t be an issue.

“My mom would move out here. Just- trust me on this Rey. She would follow us out here-“

“Are you  _ sure? _ She wants to retire-“

“ _ I am certain _ .” Ben grumbles, tilting his head so he catches her eye when he says it. So she can see into him, into what he means when he says that he is absolutely, completely, one hundred percent certain his mother would follow him out here if given the chance. She’d be packing her bags before he did, if he’s honest.

She stares at him for a moment, before quietly whispering a little “ _ oh _ ” and then a louder “Oh!” as Ben goes equally pink in the face. 

Yeah, one word about the  _ possibility _ of grandkids and she’s out here in an instant. Ben knows this. He knows this  _ very well _ considering the number of times his mother has dropped the “you’ll understand when you have kids, Ben” bomb on him.

And considering the number of times she’s done it within earshot of  _ Rey- _

She knows exactly what he might be referring to, too.

God, that’s a whole conversation and a half to  _ not _ have right now.

Rey hums, dropping the pen and scooting to sit closer to Ben's side after a long moment passes between them. So she’s now resting all of her weight against him, as she stares ahead and he gently places an arm over her shoulders.

“Huh.”

“Huh  _ what _ ?”

“There goes my five year plan.” She squeaks, turning to look up at him for a moment. Taking him in, as she shuts off the phone flashlight and he feels that and the notepad land back in his lap. “I mean, not that I had a great one to begin with, but-“

She puffs out her cheeks, exhaling as she stares at him with wide, bright eyes.

“What was it?” Ben hums, leaning down as she slowly plays with his hand and arm. As she gently explores him, and he furrows his brow to try and understand if this is a  _ good _ disruption or a  _ bad  _ one.

She shrugs, slowly moving to hide behind his side as she sighs.

“I don’t know. Get a cat or two. Pay off a decent portion of my student loans. Finally figure out what I want to do with my life. Not…  _ this _ -“

She stares up at him, as he gulps. Not  _ him _ , clearly. Ben was not in the plan.  _ Today _ was not in the plan.

“Is that five year plan up for debate? Or-“

“Oh it’s up for debate. Definitely up for debate, right now.”

Ben nods, once, because he can work with that.

Rey continues to play with his arm, as he exhales out and stares at the wall with her.

“It’s easier to talk to you when I’m not worried about, you know, accidentally confessing my feelings.” He groans as he rubs his cheek with his free hand, trying to make this whole odd situation a little more lighthearted. Give into the push and pull between them a little, so he doesn’t feel like he’s playing tug-of-war between his brain and his heart every time she looks at him.

“Yeah. Yeah.” She hums in response, sighing in time as he exhales next to her.

She places her hand in his, and he firmly squeezes as she holds on tight.

“Was it weird that I kissed you? Was that-“

“You surprised me.” Ben admits, turning to look down at her as she stares up at him. Her legs are still thrown over his lap and his arm over her shoulders, as he tries to turn so he can face her better. He wasn’t expecting her to even feel that same way, let alone  _ initiate _ anything between them. “That’s all. You surprised me. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Sorry-“

“But I’d like to do it again. Soon. Maybe. But I’ve gotta know you’re all in. I can’t do things halfway. I can’t. You know this about me. I don’t do well when I don’t know what’s coming next.”

Rey just stares at him, as Ben waits. Because she does know this about him, and he  _ knows _ she knows this about him. Ben never does things by halves, so if they’re gonna do this she needs to be prepared for that reality. This is  _ it _ . This becomes  _ something _ after tonight. No blindspots or blurry lines. Ben can’t do blurry lines with her right now.

“So you’ve gotta know I’m all in?” She hums, exhaling as she thinks.

“You can always back out, Rey-“ He reassures, when he realizes what this might sound like. He’s not _ trapping _ her, he just-

He needs to know she’s going to try. He needs to know she isn’t going to regret this in the morning. That this isn’t nothing to her, because this sure as hell isn’t  _ nothing _ to him.

“I’ve gotta know you’re gonna meet me halfway. That’s all I ever want from you. I just can’t have you breaking my heart.”

She nods, before quickly moving out from under his arm and climbing into his lap. Before assuredly seating herself on his thighs, and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Ben wraps his arms around her waist, as she holds on tight and he breathes into her neck. His whole body goes fuzzy and floaty as he pushes his face into her skin, and she runs a hand through his hair. She could break him so easily right now. He doesn’t think she fully understands how easy it would be for her to completely shatter him, tonight.

“You just want me to meet you halfway?” 

“Yeah. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt. I don’t wanna hurt you. I care about you too much to let that happen. Okay?”

She nods, continuing to hug him and hold him as she thinks.

And Ben likes that, that she isn’t automatically telling him yes or no. That she’s really taking a second to figure out if this is what she wants, if she could potentially see herself  _ being _ with him like this. And not just for today, but for tomorrow and the day after that-

And the day after  _ that- _

“Yeah. Okay. You’re not my boss anymore. Leia is. You’re- we’re something else. We- okay. We’ll apply to get me transferred, and then we’re fifty-fifty. Right? Equal partners? No more me trying to tiptoe around calling you out, no more you holding things back from me?”

Ben nods, tugging her tighter as she squeaks. “Yeah. Fifty-fifty. Partners.”

She nods, pulling her face away from him for a moment before resettling in his shoulder.

“And you’re not gonna go anywhere? This isn’t-“

“Ten months, Rey. I’ve liked you too much for ten months.”

Rey goes quiet again, although Ben can feel her grip tighten.

“I’ve lived in places for less than ten months.”

Ben nods, he knows. He’s liked her for  _ way _ too long. There’s just never been a good way to tell her this, before now. Never the right  _ chance _ -

She sighs, as he just continues to hold her close.

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t kiss you again if you’re holding me so tight.”

Ben blinks, arms dropping as she leans back from him. As she laughs a little, grinning as he tilts his head at her. She’s right, she can’t kiss him if he’s holding her so tight.

“You look  _ so _ dazed right now.” She hums, gently reaching out and grabbing his cheek as he leans into her touch. He nods, because he feels  _ so foggy _ . Like he’s a mile out of his own body, because he’s on cloud fucking ninety-nine right now.

He just sighs, kind of incapable of making words to articulate his emotions as she examines his face and furrows her brow. She bites her lip, as Ben grins.

“You’re tired. You should try and sleep a little more.”

“I’m in  _ shock _ , there’s a difference.”

Rey blinks at him, tilting her head so they’re eye to eye and on even ground. She looks confused, although Ben can’t fathom  _ why _ that would be. “You had to have known that I liked you a little too, right? I mean, I put my foot in my mouth half the time we talk-“

Ben raises a hand to the center of her back, slowly tugging her forward a little so he can kiss her temple and trail his lips lazily down her cheek. She stretches out over his chest as he works, breath hitching as he smiles against her skin. “I wouldn’t have noticed. I mean, I didn’t- I was too worried about keeping my distance. You could have yelled it at me from two feet away, and I’m not quite sure I would have understood.”

Rey nods, as Ben grins and he continues to push his face against hers. Fully honest, Ben had no clue she could  _ ever _ feel the same. Let alone be willing to try  _ this _ -

“We’re gonna have to talk about this in the morning.” Rey hums, as Ben shakes his head. Because he’s not quite sure that’s going to be necessary anymore. He’s not quite sure he’s going to be able to sleep-

“Swee- Rey, this is the morning. We’re talking about it now. Nothing left unsaid between us. We like each other a whole lot more than we probably should, and we’re gonna try making this work. That’s all I need to know from you. That you’re willing to try and make this work with me.”

She nods, shifting her face and exhaling against Bens lips. Relaxing a little, finally, as he sighs back at her. “Yeah. Okay. You’re right. We don’t need to overcomplicate this. We like each other, and that’s enough.”

Ben nods, and Rey nods as well.

And still, neither of them make the move to close the gap between them.

“You should-“

“Can I-“

Okay, so-

Ben moves forward, at the same time Rey does, and she squeaks into his mouth as he happily grumbles against her lips. She is a  _ much _ better kisser when she’s feeling safe and relaxed, apparently, as she grabs his hair between her fingers and he whines against her tongue. 

Suddenly she’s kind of easing him onto his side, so they’re back to laying down on the bed. So Ben can run his hands up and down her sides, as she uneasily kind of grabs at his chest.

She pulls away, after a  _ sufficient _ amount of time has passed to cement this as their new way of being.

Ben exhales, as he feels Rey rub his jaw with the hand that currently isn’t placed in the middle of his torso.

“You’re… decent at this.”

Ben opens his mouth to retort, before  _ quickly _ snapping his jaw shut. Decent is good enough, apparently, for her to smile up at him. For her cheeks to dimple, and his breath to leave his lungs.

He’ll take it.

He shuts his eyes, as he feels Rey slide a hand through his hair with a sigh. “You sound surprised.”

She shrugs, snuggling closer to him as he adjusts his grip on her. He puts her comfort first, prioritizing her needs over his right now as she settles her head back on his bicep.

Ben can survive with a sore shoulder, it’s more important Rey is feeling better right now. Because he doesn’t know how she’s feeling right now.

But- if tonight has taught him anything- he could just  _ ask _ -

“You doing okay?” He hums, looking down at her and kind of uncomfortably twisting his neck as she sighs with a gentle nod against his chest. “Are you feeling a little better? Now that  _ we’re _ sorted?”

She nods again, as he leans down and pecks her forehead. Her hand twitches against his side, although he doesn’t think it’s a  _ bad _ twitch, as he grumbles and adjusts her a little more.

She silently grabs at his shirt with her fingers, before finally settling in.

Ben tries to rest, for just a moment, as he processes and thinks.

“Hey, Rey?” He hums, looking down at her one final time as she pulls away to stare up at him, “Never tiptoe around me again. If if fuck up, let me know. I’m sure I’d deserve it.”

She nods, corners of her mouth quirking up into a smile. “Yeah, you would. Sweetheart.”

Ben furrows his brow, as Rey giggles and throws a leg over his. Okay, great, so that’s  _ not _ what he wanted- 

“Giving you permission to tell me off is  _ not _ the same as making fun of me, Rey.” He sighs, as she just continues to lightly laugh at him. He smiles, though, because it’s the  _ sweet _ kind of teasing that might take awhile to get used to. Not the mean, bullying kind. But the gentle, ticklish type of teasing that he thinks he might like just a little.

She scoffs, clarifying when he seems to take it the wrong way. “No! No, I-I panicked when you called me that earlier. You caught me off guard with this whole thing, remember?”

Ben nods, smiling as she frets over him and grabs his face between her eager palms again. Doing what he quickly realizes is one of her  _ favorite _ things to him. “I like being  _ your _ sweetheart. I think. I don’t really know, yet. Nobody has ever-“

Ben just nods, tugging her to his chest with one firm pull. His mind blanks out when he realizes he gets to be this  _ first _ for her. That she’s  _ his _ in some capacity. “Mmhm.” He hums, as she laughs into his shirtfront. “Yep, you’re not gonna be able to stop that train once it’s left the station.”

She giggles again, as he beams. 

_ His sweetheart. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one shared brain cell, one shared soul. I love them >:O
> 
> thank u for reading, I know this is a weird sort of middle ground to end up on, not quite a short story not quite a full one either, but I think it fits nicely into the category it's picked. a good practice exercise, and a full little escapism piece back to when we go places and be on airplanes and stay in hotels.
> 
> god, I miss the tiny soaps in hotels. I know that's a weird thing to say, but I miss the excitement of going to a hotel and seeing what type of soap they had.
> 
> <333 love u
> 
> edit: OH SHIT I FORGOT TO MENTION
> 
> find me on bird app @binarystars3 !! Friends always welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Like what you see? I've got other works you can check out!
> 
> [Oh, I Love You.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656768/chapters/70248330) \- Multi-chapter (56!) 2020 AU that is so self indulgent it will rot your teeth I am sorry.
> 
> [Ghost'ed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346021) \- Short story, ghost hunters AU
> 
> [Tell Me It's Alright](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681842/chapters/65078968) \- Highschool AU! Multi-chapter!


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